Memorable Quotes?

[DJ Jackalope]

Gotta start this thread again....

Walking through the Splash bar...
Some guy's girlfriend saw the Goon shirts...

"Goon? What is that? Is that a game?"

[TheCotMan]

Quote from a user comment to a new pages website about the Dateline NBC undercover reporter:
http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2007/08/media-mole-at-d.html
Posted by: chris | Aug 6, 2007 9:25:46 AM

wait a minute.. "DefCon goons announced..." ?!

Is the person that wrote this article implying that the organizers of DefCon are some kind henchmen for some mob?.. Goons? sheesh!

It seems unlikely to have been Defcon Chris for several reasons. Still funny comment.

Favorite Defcon Quote?
Relayed to me: "Burn the witch" as it seems a bit Monty Python. If she would not have run, I would have almost expected to hear someone say, "but how do you know she is a witch?"

Favorite quote I heard:
Dark Tangent during CiscoGate talk:
"And I was like Ohhh Emmm Geee."

[AcidicA]

This was said over and over about the Madigan incident.


"This is what happens when you fuck with people smarter then you."


Another common phrase said to L0stboy during the Mystery box.

"Your a sick, sick man."

[Zuggy]

During hacker jeopardy while Priest was at the podium someone yelled "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" and Priest goes, "What?, What happens in Vegas ends up on Youtube?" in that Priest type of sarcasm. Thought it was appropriate after Maddigan

[Vyrus]

"Remind me not to put anything you give me into my computer ever again" - XS.

seemed quite appropriate after we (dc949) had just posted our list of stolen logins using a Firefox extension CP wrote as part of amateur capture the flag ;)

[KeLviN]

"of course it's fully cooked... we had it set on "linen""

in refrence to cooking 3lbs of bacon with an iron

[cfinger]

Probably the numerous "what the fuck is ...." as I walked through all the way across the Riviera carrying my assembled autonomous airsoft turret. I wish I could've recorded all the strange looks I got. Even at defcon.

[noid]

As I left the hotel yesterday, I heard the following from the TKE frat boys
'What the hell was going on down there anyways?'
'Some sort of computer hacker convention'
'Well, I'm glad those people are gone'

[noid]

Oh, and one more memorable quote from the drunk dipshit that wandered into the womens restroom:

'You guys are just goons, you're volunteers, I dont have to do anything you say if I dont want to'

Oh..but you do..Shame he didnt push the issue, would have been nice to give him a demonstration..

[jur1st]

^^Along those lines:

As I approached the line to get into Dan's talk, I asked this fellow if I was in the line for track three.

"I don't know and clearly none of those retards...I mean goons...do either."

He turned around to see me with my head slightly cocked to the side...then he looked down to see the red badge around my neck.

"Oh...uh..."

[Zuggy]

Another good quote came from while I was in the elevator @ the Hilton. There were 2 ladies in the elevator with me and one asked me about my badge and I explained that they were having Defcon across the street at the Riv. Before I could say anything else her friend says, "Don't talk to him, he'll steal your credit card number".

[J3di]

... and Priest goes, "What?, What happens in Vegas ends up on Youtube?" in that Priest type of sarcasm.

That's totally quotable and should end up on DC tshirt for next year.

[TheCotMan]

Oh. Right. The TKE people.

While in the bathroom, two of them were at the urinal, talking to each other while doing their thing:
"So you're speaking at a presentation?"
"Yeah. A presentation on etiquette."
"Like what? At a table?"
"Etiquette and how you can take it back to your chapter."
"Sounds like fun."
(They wander over and wash their hands.)

I wonder if there are rules in etiquette about talking to strangers at urinals in men's bathrooms.

[CP99]

Me: I'm looking for *blah*, he has my badge.
Goon: Well, are you speaking or presenting.
Me: Speaking? of coarse I am, I'm talking to you right now... oh.

[Lockheed]

I'd say the top quote from the NOC/DCTV team were this:

(Heather): Do I have to finish having sex with these two women?!
(she was playing God of War II at the time-- context is everything!)

[t0ttenkoph]

As I walked through the hotel (and then security at the airport), in reguards to Lost's mystery box:


Security gate people/hotel staff/etc: What is that?
Me: a mystery box
Them: what's in it?
Me: it's a *mystery*.....inside a box
Them: Is it a bomb
Me: .......it's a thing for a competition at this security conference
Them: Is it the prize?


Now, they deviated slightly depending on who stopped me, but eventually they let me take the box as a personal item along with my carry-on.


Tottenkoph

[F2D Wicked]

Dark Tangent at closing ceremonies
"She's preggers"

Got a kick out of that.

[flea]

"
if you cant go goon go tke
if you can't go tke go home
"

Then the frat boys got kicked out of the pool with a confused look on their face. Why were they, the beautiful people, standing with oiled up same-sex compatriots while we, the dorks of the world laughing at them and playing catch with half naked women? This will surely require many cases of coors light to come to terms with in the tke houses of the country. ROCK!

[bloofar]

This actually happened last year, but I don't think I've told many people about it.

We were riding in the elevator with the lights turned off. Somebody had a boom box playing techno. We got in and pulled out pen lasers and led lights and started dancing. Doors opened up on another floor with non-DC people standing there. Remember the look Dr Gonzo got from the tourists in Fear & Loathing when he's faux-stabbing LaCerta? Same look from these people. Drop-jaw and the doors closed.

From this year:
"I found the main mirror and all I got was banned from Bazooko's Circus"

After getting trashed in the carousel bar and trying to find my way back down, yelling loudly:
"Why should I fuck with children? They're too small!"

got at least 3 _really_ dirty looks for that one

[Antron Robot]

I was in an elevator with a random Defcon guy, an old guy, and a hangover. The old guy turned to the other guy and asked:

"Are you one of them computer people too?"
"Yup," replied the random Defcon guy.
The old guy sighed and shook his head.


I wonder if there are rules in etiquette about talking to strangers at urinals in men's bathrooms.

You mean these?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw

[Schuyler]

My friend A and I were taking the Deuce to another casino while a family of Minnesotan women sat behind us, and an OLD school Vegas native slumped in the seat in front of us.

So we all get to talking and finally they ask what we're in town for, and these people seemed nice enough, so I figured they wouldn't get too weird about it, but still:

Me: "It's a computer security convention...well, it's a hacker convention..."
Minnesotan: "DEFCON!?"
Me: "Uh...yeah, you've heard of it?"
Minnesotan #2: "Yah, she's really into computers..."

Turns out one of them actually wanted to go. hehe.

[mfreeck]

Me: Hello sir, may I take your picture?
frat boy: Uhhh... where's it going to end up?
Me: can I take your picture sir?
frat boy: ....yah. I'm not sure about you hacker-types...
<picture, including badge>
me: Can I take a picture(closeup) of your badge?
brian the frat boy: No. <turns it around>

I had a long good conversation with the older frat-dude standing next to us. He seemed genuinely interested, but I had to scamper off to a talk.

http://www.phoocollective.net/pics/defcon15/fratboy.jpg

[Stypica]

When LosT and I escorted Michael Anderson (Samson on Carnivale) to the bar and he had gotten his drink, he turned to us and said in character

"Let's shake some dust!"

and we walked back towards the black ball...

the fanboi in me got mohagonny

[meee]

Even though this is over 4 years old its funny to hear

At the hacker space (Random attendee)

"Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

[bloofar]

Even though this is over 4 years old its funny to hear

At the hacker space (Random attendee)

"Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Bwahahaha.. that was either me or one of the guys I was with. The theme for the trip that year was "Does this rag smell like choloroform?"

god that was a fun year

[Coyote Flapjack]

Some random lady at the Riv after seeing my badge:

"What's a Human"?

I've never wanted to slap somebody so badly in my life.

[mfreeck]

"What's a Human"?


On the plane ride home i was looking at defcon pics on my computer and got to talking to the couple next to me. The subject of the conference comes up and I tell them it's "just a computer conference." The woman of the couple sees the badge in the photos and says "So, what do you do at this Human conference?"

[Antron Robot]

Actually, I should include this one:

"We'll talk about bukkake tomorrow." -Priest

[DJ Jackalope]

When LosT and I escorted Michael Anderson (Samson on Carnivale) to the bar and he had gotten his drink, he turned to us and said in character

"Let's shake some dust!"

and we walked back towards the black ball...

the fanboi in me got mohagonny


I gotta admit I got all fangirl when I heard he was outside and I was playing.

[AcidicA]

While walking around a crowd Erik, Z and I found it quite amusing to say

"Then I donkey punched her."

While very misogynistic, it seemed to make people crack up at the randomness.

Anyone at the marshmallow war of 2007 (thank you deviant for supplying ammo even if you left to early to partake) will remember that being tossed around at any lull in conversation.

[mouseling]

1. Where can I get one of those Human badges? - overheard from a random casino patron
and -
2. Chuck Norris could do it! (during L0sT and Converge's Mountain Dew chugging contest)

[Thorn]

I had two good Memorable Quotes.

1) A random DC attendee got on the elevator with me, just after I check into the Riv, but hadn't registered with DC. He looked rather goggle-eyed at my NYPD-shielded golf shirt and said, "Man, you gonna have a hard time here. There's a hacker convention going on."

--------------------

2) Later I happened to see two Chief of Police I know going into Kady's as I was going out. They expressed surprise that they hadn't run into me during the Chief's convention. When I explained what I was there for, one said. "You're here with the h-h-h-hackers?"

[jur1st]

As I'm going through the airport security check:

TSA #1: So I'm looking at one of those terrabyte stations to hold all my gamez.
TSA #2: That's cool...should be plenty of space.
TSA #1: Yeah, but I don't know if I'll be able to install and run the games directly off the drive.
TSA #3 (monitoring the x-ray...glances up at me and sees the defcon shirt): Why don't you ask this guy?

[renderman]

Still recovering, but some quotes that come to mind:

"I promise I will only drink a small warp core breach - it's smaller than my head, see!" - Shortly followed by the delivery of a second one from a guy at the bar thus destroying my personal defcon rule (see Below)

Walking past CORE security booth at Blackhat: "Shit, he's here, don't let him touch any laptops"

[Xyc0]

Walking past CORE security booth at Blackhat: "Shit, he's here, don't let him touch any laptops"

Kinda like my, "Shit, shit shit... renderman is comming here.... um, hide everything."

I have to admit though, ya'll were better house guests then most; it only took a few minutes to clean up after the marshmallow fight.

[Xyc0]

Ok, I wish I was making this one up.

@ TGIFridays down the street from Riviera
Waitress: What are those badges for?
US: It's for DefCon
Waitress: Oh...
<five minutes later>
Waitress: Ok this is a stupid question, but what is DefCon?
US: It's a hacker convention.
<waitress back away in horror>

[TheCotMan]

At one of the Parties at Defcon. 3 People come up to Boombox and me.

[Dark. Loud music on the background and people yelling.]
(One of them:) Who are you?
(Me:) I am Cotman
(Another one of them looking disturbed:) CockMan?
(Me:) No, no, no. (Spelling) C. O. T. Man. If you're looking for CockMan, he's at the other party.
(Another one:) Thanks for warning us. We'll stay at this party.

[LosT]

I am so calling you cockman from now on... ;)

LosT

[TheCotMan]

I am so calling you cockman from now on... ;)

LosT

Oh great. That will help.

"See that guy?"
"Yeah."
"He's a dick."
"Who is he?"
"CockMan"

Great. People will invite me to a party when they want people to leave but don't want to tell people to leave.

On the plus side, people looking for CockMan with google might find Porn instead and stop looking.

[0x58]

"Are you guys ready?" - LosT

"LosT has a serious flaw. He is one sick bastard" - Unknown

I heard the second one walking past someone trying to figure out the first box.

[astcell]

Highwiz will make a superhero cape and uniform for Cockman now.

[Xodia]

My favorite is still:
"Hey, some girl is letting dudes stick their fingers in any orifice over at Pool 2!"

Unfortunately, I didn't believe it and had to investigate. It still haunts my dreams.

[alklloyd]

One of my favorites came from a certain presenter's son:
"All it's been all weekend is hard drives and iphone!"

Al

[l0new0lf]

"We're the hurting kind of goons, not the helping kind of goons."

[DJ Jackalope]

"This is the weirdest bible camp I've ever been to!" --Zinc, after -finally- deteching for the Goon Swim and throwing himself into the pool fully clothed.