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Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

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  • #1

    Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

    So this sits rather well with me, i must say...

    Ski-Resort Lessons May Help Speed Airport Checkpoints
    Inspired by the skill-level ratings on ski slopes, federal officials in Denver and Salt Lake City are testing a beginner line for fliers who need help with screening, another for people with some travel experience and a fast lane for those familiar with safety rules. ...

    The pilot program, called "Black Diamond" for the symbols marking the toughest ski runs, is intended to cut waiting times. A Denver checkpoint will start tests next week, said Ellen Howe, a Transportation Security Administration spokeswoman.
    i like how this has the potential to get me through the checkpoints faster (since i have my shit down to a goddamn science) but does not involve special lists of names, pre-cleared travelers, or other such hoo-ha.

    anyone else care to comment on the security/privacy/etc ramifications here?

    should there be some shaming device for folk who choose the wrong line and hold up the works? 'round here, if you can't place a cheese steak order properly at Pat's you get sent to the back of the line. that would kick some ass i think if a bozo got in the "expert" line but didn't have his shoes off or have his liquids out when his turn came.
    "I'll admit I had an OiNK account and frequented it quite often… What made OiNK a great place was that it was like the world's greatest record store… iTunes kind of feels like Sam Goody to me. I don't feel cool when I go there. I'm tired of seeing John Mayer's face pop up. I feel like I'm being hustled when I visit there, and I don't think their product is that great. DRM, low bit rate, etc... OiNK it existed because it filled a void of what people want."
    - Trent Reznor
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  • #2
    Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

    I really think only two lines should be necessary for this plan. The skiing theme is all well and good but you either know the procedures or you don't. Not to mention there will probably no shortage of idiots who've never flown before but get in the fast lane, and then there's a line of businessmen complaining about the ineffectiveness of the system.

    Plus, you have to consider that more lines means either more security employees to hire or less at each checkpoint.

    Overall, it just seems like it's over-complicating a simple issue. Two lines would probably speed things up, three is a little over the top.
    One Nation Under Surveillance
    "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength."

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    • #3
      Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

      Will they be able to boot people from the black diamond line who think they have a clue but really don't?
      "\x74\x68\x65\x70\x72\x65\x7a\x39\x38";

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      • #4
        Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

        If it gets me through the airport faster I am all for it.

        I have it down to a science as well, pull out two laptops, take off shoes, shove it all through the security scanner, put on shoes, place laptops back into bag and walk off.

        Takes me all of 3 minutes to get through security once it is my turn, and I bet that could even be streamlined if I did not have to wait for the person ahead of me to get hand patted down/wanded because they forgot to remove a pen or belt buckle!

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        • #5
          Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

          This is like the "10 items of less" lane in the supermarket right? I always get the person with 161 items and writing a postdated Canadian check in front of me.

          Like the ski lift, if you dawdle, you get hit in the back of the head with the chair. I'm for that.

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          • #6
            Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

            Originally posted by astcell View Post
            This is like the "10 items of less" lane in the supermarket right? I always get the person with 161 items and writing a postdated Canadian check in front of me.

            Like the ski lift, if you dawdle, you get hit in the back of the head with the chair. I'm for that.
            People are unable to count these days!

            Yes, chair in the back of the head, that would work really well.

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            • #7
              Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

              Originally posted by astcell View Post
              This is like the "10 items of less" lane in the supermarket right?
              Speaking of the ten items or less lane, do you consider multiple instances (within reason) of the exact same item to be a single item?

              I know that i once had an issue with a cashier who said i had "twelve items" and i really shouldn't be in his lane. I countered by pointing out...
              1. I had six cans of the exact same goddamn chicken and rice soup and six small bottles of ginger ale (someone wasn't feeling well at my house)

              2. All he had to do was scan a single can, and press "qty" and "6" on his keypad, then do the same with the beverage.

              3. The whole goddamn affair was now taking about five times as long because he chose to stop and hold up the works. (People behind me applauded this)

              I've never known why some checkout folk don't use the damn quantity button. Once I was buying dog food for an old girlfriend (she didn't understand money and thus fed her dog wet products) and I had a goddamn palette box of some brand. This was like 24 of the exact same little packet and they were all in the original, open top cardboard box with the brand logo and item name on there

              Of course, the clerk took out one item, scanned it, and then ignored my assertion that "the other twenty four are all the same thing" and stood there blipping each one over the reader. Then she got mixed up at one point and walked down to the bagging area to count how many she'd already done, looking up and saying "you wanted just 24? because i think you have more than that."

              I explained that (a) yes, there really were 24, (b) even if there weren't i didn't goddamn care i just wanted to pay my 19 dollars and leave, and (c) the people in line behind me were contemplating walloping her with chew toys.
              "I'll admit I had an OiNK account and frequented it quite often… What made OiNK a great place was that it was like the world's greatest record store… iTunes kind of feels like Sam Goody to me. I don't feel cool when I go there. I'm tired of seeing John Mayer's face pop up. I feel like I'm being hustled when I visit there, and I don't think their product is that great. DRM, low bit rate, etc... OiNK it existed because it filled a void of what people want."
              - Trent Reznor

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

                Can we have a double black diamond line and do it ourselves?

                Fly back through Newark and what a pain. I had to go between terminals and noone told me I'd have to go through security again! Got stuck in front of some old lady.

                TSA: Ma'm you need to take your shoes and coat.
                L: No I have a cold
                TSA: Ma'm you need to take your shoes and coat off and place them on the conveyer
                L: But my feet will get cold
                TSA: YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR SHOES AND COAT OFF.


                BTW, they do have that clearpass thing but I've only seen it at 1 airport so far.

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                • #9
                  Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

                  Originally posted by beakmyn View Post
                  they do have that clearpass thing but I've only seen it at 1 airport so far.
                  that system is membership-based and involves "verified traveler" shenanigans.

                  clearpass == FAIL (at least from a security and privacy perspective)
                  "I'll admit I had an OiNK account and frequented it quite often… What made OiNK a great place was that it was like the world's greatest record store… iTunes kind of feels like Sam Goody to me. I don't feel cool when I go there. I'm tired of seeing John Mayer's face pop up. I feel like I'm being hustled when I visit there, and I don't think their product is that great. DRM, low bit rate, etc... OiNK it existed because it filled a void of what people want."
                  - Trent Reznor

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

                    Trusted Traveler programs are destined to fail. They are based upon the presumption that someone who may want to commit some sort of act already has a record and therefore would not qualify or try to join up for the program. On the other hand, it's a perfect way for a "sleeper" who has no record to become "trusted".
                    "\x74\x68\x65\x70\x72\x65\x7a\x39\x38";

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Airport Security... treated like ski slopes

                      Well Prez, TSA has a solution for that. They already have the names of 19 people they will not allow in the black diamond lane!

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