DC16 Best Quotes go here...

[Miss Jackalope]

Re: DC16 Best Quotes go here...

oh man, i totally forgot that one. absolute and instant classic.

Hey, I'll leave Sausage Oil around more often if you guys like it that much.

[Deviant Ollam]

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My quote of the week was "I'm just here for the sausage oil." ..The result of Q misreading the contents of the romance package in our hotel room. Oddly,I think he was let down when he found out it was just massage oil.

oh man, i totally forgot that one. absolute and instant classic.

[Ellen]

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"Well that must have been Eric, because i was never a penis." - me again, laying in bed after our last day of trainings at Black Hat. i can no longer remember the exact context due to sleep deprivation and copious alcohol consumption... but i do recall that i felt so dramatically certain of my line of logic at the time.

Context: Jackalope was showing me photos of Eric smoking a cigar. Deviant shot up in bed from a near-sleep state and declared at the top of his lungs in a very distinguished voice that he was never a penis. Deviant needs to drink whatever he drank that night more often. ;)

My quote of the week was "I'm just here for the sausage oil." ..The result of Q misreading the contents of the romance package in our hotel room. Oddly,I think he was let down when he found out it was just massage oil.

[DamnCampers]

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well heres a little one that a couple of us thought was pretty entertaining at the bbq.

"We have vegan blessed meat."

those that were close enough to what was going on or what was being done should know who it was and what became of the vegan blessed meat.

[Ne0nRa1n]

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One of my favorite moments at con that still gives me the giggles is when I was comparing notes with my friend and fellow speaker Lyn about some neuroscience studies we had both read when a random boy walked up to us?

Random Boy: So, what are you ladies talking about?
Me: (looking very serious) Shhh! Girl talk!

[paint]

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Old couple: What on earth is going on here?!? (looking around in horror and disgust at the Black Ball attendees coming and going, while our Goon Team patrolled by)

Arclight: The Young Republicans convention.

i just spit on my monitor, and one of my artists is looking at me funny....

[Gadsden]

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Old couple: What on earth is going on here?!? (looking around in horror and disgust at the Black Ball attendees coming and going, while our Goon Team patrolled by)

Arclight: The Young Republicans convention.

[Miss Jackalope]

Re: DC16 Best Quotes go here...

Not really a direct quote...but listening to wad and coleslaw have a conversation about how they have the two worst handles in the history of DEF CON was quite entertaining.

Doesn't CMOS get that award as well?

This was from DC7...it went something like this and names and faces might be wrong (can't remember if it was Bink or Noid..i think it was Noid!)....this was back when they had live djs in the chill out room during the day...

Noid: what should I say your dj name is?
Keith: Keith.
Noid: that's a lame dj name.
*pushes Keith up on the decks*
"Here's DJ CMOS!"

[Nikita]

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*Random Person* Looks at pants
rp: You 949 too?
me: yep... The pants?
rp: ...... yep.

Neill was rather drunk in the elevator when this convo happened, (unless it was another 949'r) I laughed hard then and even harder when I read this transcript! I remember it and so does Mav who was also there, it's a shame it was a little too fuzzy for Neil to truly appreciate the humor. Just in case the mystery isn't solved...RP = Neil

Here are my quotes which I just about died laughing over also, some might not be word for word....

Roamer- And so I thought, after the fact, shit there are probably cameras in the elevator.

Zac- Note to self, never drink from wine glasses from Roamer, or anything left in an elevator.

Random guy who may or may not have been gay for golgo by proxy- So then I had to decide what to do with my pants....

Kenshoto door guy - What has DT done for me lately? Neil- Are you fucking kidding me?

Mouse- Now i want to go back to my room and get my orthoscopic scopey thing.

Skydog- These are not the droids you are looking for.

Grifter- Your wedding invitations are like two vampires getting married.

At the hackerpimps party-
I'm glad I'm not the only one who wanted to yell ASS to ASS, and genuinly thinks its hilarious.
Dude, she just walked into me and now I have stripper sweat on me, so gross. *Shudders*.

[Wing]

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Conversation between myself and some random girl staying at the casino, while I am in the elevator headed toward the scav hunt table to give Siv and crew some bacon.

Girl: Is that bacon?
Me: Yes it is, about two pounds.
G: Why do you have bacon?
M: Its for a scavenger hunt.
G: Oooh, can I have some?
M: Uhm... you dont want any.
G: Yeah I do! Why not?
M: I cooked it in my room... on the counter in the bathroom... using irons.
G: (shocked) What? Why?
M: Its for the scavenger hunt. I need a pound of bacon. So I cooked bacon.



Like we said last year, "Of course its fully cooked, we had it set on linen."

On a similar note, though not scavenger hunt related, in the room with the ball and chain:

<bacon in the microwave... an entire pound of it because we're too impatient to wait for housekeeping to bring us a frying pan and we're equally too impatient to nuke it a few strips at a time>
Me: God that bacon smells delicious
Her: Yes.
<minutes later>
Me: Why isn't the bacon done yet? OH GOD FIRE!
Doorbell: DING DONG
(I'm dumping a plate of bacon, which is on fire, in the sink under running water... And she goes to answer the door)
Housekeeping: .... Do you still need that frying pan?
Me: YES! BACON IS ESSENTIAL.


Here's another priceless one - right as I'm about to walk out the door to go to the first talk of the day (she's taking forever in the shower)
Her: Uh. Can you hold on a minute? I need to go to the emergency room. My nipple piercing is infected.

Overheard in the skybox hallway:
"Yeah, she totally let me give her raspberrys"

[Salem]

Re: DC16 Best Quotes go here...

Conversation between myself and some random girl staying at the casino, while I am in the elevator headed toward the scav hunt table to give Siv and crew some bacon.

Girl: Is that bacon?
Me: Yes it is, about two pounds.
G: Why do you have bacon?
M: Its for a scavenger hunt.
G: Oooh, can I have some?
M: Uhm... you dont want any.
G: Yeah I do! Why not?
M: I cooked it in my room... on the counter in the bathroom... using irons.
G: (shocked) What? Why?
M: Its for the scavenger hunt. I need a pound of bacon. So I cooked bacon.



Like we said last year, "Of course its fully cooked, we had it set on linen."

[faye]

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Haily: I'm not a Federal Agent I'm a prostitute!

Although I was really drunk most of the con, I dont remember saying that.. to you. Im gonna have to deny, I wouldnt have used either of those words in that quote anyway....

[EvilMoFo]

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"its not binge drinking unless you stop" - someone in a red tshirt that i assume was a goon

"I gots a white woman in bed at home in new york city" - someone at a party

"I'm he tallest asian here" - mee

[Voltage Spike]

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Not really a direct quote...but listening to wad and coleslaw have a conversation about how they have the two worst handles in the history of DEF CON was quite entertaining.

I don't know, Vomitorium (who now shortens it to the much better Vom) might have some say in the matter.

It's funny how we often hang onto the same handle for 20+ years (which, for some people, is long after that handle ceased to have any relevance). I once read a powerful message: Freedom is the power to choose your own name. (Sorry, I can't remember where it comes from.)


Self-quoting because someone else already opened the doors.

Voltage Spike: If you're going to show up at Defcon, you have to expect a couple of balls to the face.

(Letting someone know that I wasn't upset about the beach balls during The Minibosses show.)

[Chris]

Re: DC16 Best Quotes go here...

Not really a direct quote...but listening to wad and coleslaw have a conversation about how they have the two worst handles in the history of DEF CON was quite entertaining.