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  • #1

    New Defcon Rules

    New Defcon Rules:

    1. Never drink anything larger than your head!
    care of Renderman

    2. Never drink anything larger than your head, and then go to a Las Vegas strip club with only a credit card. (My credit card wasn't hacked by hackers, but by strippers)
    care of xor

    Submissions welcome.


    xor
    Last edited by xor; August 4, 2009, 06:44.
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should. This applies to making babies, hacking, and youtube videos.
    Tags: new rules
  • #2
    Re: New Defcon Rules

    In fact, never go to a Vegas strip club with a credit card, at all, sober or not. Cash only is easier, and serves as a 'know when to stop' limit.

    Some would add a rule "don't go to a Las Vegas strip club, period", but I have no comment there.
    It's not stupid, it's advanced.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: New Defcon Rules

      Wow, must have been a hell of a party...

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: New Defcon Rules

        I went to a vegas strip club for a bachelor party. I thought ahead and did cash only, but late that night I literally ran out of money. I was stressed because I had started with about $600 for the trip! When I finally got back to the hotel room I found $400 in my bag, I had set it aside before leaving *exactly* for this reason :)

        So, always plan ahead!
        --- The fuck? Have you ever BEEN to Defcon?

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: New Defcon Rules

          Originally posted by Rhenium View Post
          Wow, must have been a hell of a party...
          He should have it paid off by Defcon18....

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: New Defcon Rules

            Originally posted by kallahar View Post
            I went to a vegas strip club for a bachelor party. I thought ahead and did cash only, but late that night I literally ran out of money. I was stressed because I had started with about $600 for the trip! When I finally got back to the hotel room I found $400 in my bag, I had set it aside before leaving *exactly* for this reason :)

            So, always plan ahead!

            For example, don't leave cheap tech within eyesight in a car whose window it will cost more to replace than the tech. (I heard this rumor, I hope it isn't true, cuz it sucks)

            My real advice: take a milk thistle supplement every day during con, drink anything that has multiple B vitamin supplements in it each morning, and before you try to eat on that hangover belly drink a liquid protein shake to prepare your system for solid food. This was my regimen for everyone in my room this year and it was miraculous.
            Hack your body!
            "They-Who-Were-Google are no longer alone. Now we are all Google."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: New Defcon Rules

              Originally posted by xor View Post
              New Defcon Rules:

              1. Never drink anything larger than your head!
              care of Renderman
              Does this still apply when/if Quark's ever re-opens?

              Never hop into a dumpster higher than your nipple without knowing what's inside.
              "You have cubed asscheeks?"... "Do you not?"

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: New Defcon Rules

                I'm not sure if theprez98 is a member here, so I'll post his for him.

                5. Never turn to your buddies on the plane and say, "Look! I have a usb switchblade!".


                He was getting the evil eye from the guy behind him the whole flight!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: New Defcon Rules

                  6. Never use the credit advance machine in the lobby of the hotel. It may be legit, but it will go missing and mysteriously return in a Jesus-like manner three days later.

                  7. Don't bother throwing your hands up like an idiot for free swag at any point...it does nothing.

                  8. If taking lock picks as carry-on luggage never fail to mention, "Maam', I am returning from a security conference and have no other means of getting my tools home. Please, examine my badge and identification, I understand its your job."
                  The dude abides.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: New Defcon Rules

                    Originally posted by barry99705 View Post
                    I'm not sure if theprez98 is a member here, so I'll post his for him.

                    5. Never turn to your buddies on the plane and say, "Look! I have a usb switchblade!".


                    He was getting the evil eye from the guy behind him the whole flight!
                    Except I forgot to say "USB", so...
                    "\x74\x68\x65\x70\x72\x65\x7a\x39\x38";

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: New Defcon Rules

                      #9 stay on the fucking right side of the hallway assholes
                      Network Jesus died for your SYN

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: New Defcon Rules

                        Originally posted by theprez98 View Post
                        Except I forgot to say "USB", so...
                        Oh!! I missed that part!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: New Defcon Rules

                          Never go to a Vegas strip club, period. They suck. Treat yourself to a nice topless show, and if you're still seeking strippers, hit up a cheaper place in your hometown.
                          45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B0
                          45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B1
                          [ redacted ]

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: New Defcon Rules

                            Originally posted by bascule View Post
                            Never go to a Vegas strip club, period. They suck. Treat yourself to a nice topless show, and if you're still seeking strippers, hit up a cheaper place in your hometown.
                            He's from Philly. If you've ever been to a strip club there, you'd know why he doesn't go to them there. ;)
                            A third party security audit is the IT equivalent of a colonoscopy. It's long, intrusive, very uncomfortable, and when it's done, you'll have seen things you really didn't want to see, and you'll never forget that you've had one.

                            Comment

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