Delete this if it sucks

[velderia]

I was just thinking today. Maybe overthinking, but not really.

About roughly a year or more ago, I was trying to get my A+ certificate, but failed. I scored one of the tests but the second I failed twice. At first I thought maybe I'm better off becoming an "artist/comicbookartist" than a hardware tech or something. I gave up.

Now I'm realizing - well, I realized before, but - I failed the second test twice, mostly because I was starting not to sleep well. I think I sunk into some depression/aniexty. If my memory doesn't fail me, I think I didn't sleep at all on my first attempt at taking the test, maybe both attempts. It was either less than 5 hours of sleep or not sleeping at all. I think the second attempt was close to passing, but just not passing.

I'm 20 years old (Just turned 20 on the 13th) and I don't want to live in my parent's house by the time I'm 25, at the most. I've been thinking maybe I should continue doing my said "art", yet maybe doing some computer stuff on the side - not necessarily hardware. Maybe some programming or something. I don't want to take any certificates or anything. I don't want to learn anything and not getting anything in return. Sorry if it sounds greedy but what else am I suppose to do? Work at McDonalds? I don't think I can wake up early enough for that. I've already been through minimum wage jobs like Port City Java, Abercrombie, and Hancock Fabrics. It sucks, especially since I was doing it around the time when gas was tipping up at 5 dollars a gallon.

I have no idea what to do at this point. I want to create my comic book, but it's probably not going to get me anywhere. I think I should have something to fall back on - something that I can rely on.

I can't even do stripping. I have weird stretch marks. But it's not like I want to do stripping anyway.

[Deviant Ollam]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

I don't want to learn anything and not getting anything in return.

i would point out that this one statement is very contrary to almost the entire hacker ethos.

you will likely find that most of the people here on these forums and in this scene would gladly spend an extra 100 or 200 hours out of a chunk of their life (sometimes just out of the blue with no notice or planning) learning as much as possible, all the ins and outs, of something that has absolutely nothing to do with their work or ability to earn an income.

while i certainly support your desire to advance your career, as you deserve to have a rewarding vocation that compensates you well, it may help to not think of it as some sort of chore or series of checkpoints through which you have to pass on your way to some sort of goal. (hint: doing that leads to the inevitable realization that the only "goal" is a gravestone and working hard to reach the "goal" faster is self-defeating)

what sort of work in the tech field interests you most and what have you done thus far?

[velderia]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

i would point out that this one statement is very contrary to almost the entire hacker ethos.

you will likely find that most of the people here on these forums and in this scene would gladly spend an extra 100 or 200 hours out of a chunk of their life (sometimes just out of the blue with no notice or planning) learning as much as possible, all the ins and outs, of something that has absolutely nothing to do with their work or ability to earn an income.

while i certainly support your desire to advance your career, as you deserve to have a rewarding vocation that compensates you well, it may help to not think of it as some sort of chore or series of checkpoints through which you have to pass on your way to some sort of goal. (hint: doing that leads to the inevitable realization that the only "goal" is a gravestone and working hard to reach the "goal" faster is self-defeating)

what sort of work in the tech field interests you most and what have you done thus far?

I've been interested in web programming as a kid. I know HTML almost by heart. Some CSS. Dabbled in some XHTML, Php, Perl, Javascript, etc, at one point but not much. Not really sure if that's enough. I also remember trying some Python and really liking the language but had someone told me not to pursue it.

[charliex]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

Work backwards, find a job/career that you'd like to do, then find out the requirements for it.

[bascule]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

I don't want to learn anything and not getting anything in return.

I would suggest finding something to be passionate about, then learning about it because you are passionate about it.

After you know about it, then worry about finding a job.

[b0rntek]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

Can you a little time to work at any job, but you should do, learn, do what you want and what you like, php or delphi ..It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop)

[Ridirich]

Re: Delete this if it sucks

Ok, so here's the facts I gather from what you said.

1) You tried to get the A+ and failed at it.
2) You blame failure on lack of sleep.
3) You're very repetitive, as if you have something to justify or are insecure.
4) You're 20 years old.
5) You don't want to stay with parents for another 5 years.
6) You have as of yet to work a technical job, and are not willing to put the effort in to learn something that may/may not help you in the future, but makes no promise of pay.
7) You know some HTML.
8) You're an artist.

Now, using logic and the facts that are gleaned from your post I have some comments that you might consider as well as some ideas.

1 and 2: Don't blame shit on lack of sleep. I had a career for 8 years that I could be called at any time of the day. People's lives depended on me and quite frankly if your guts are hanging out at 2 AM you don't want to hear how tired the medic is who's holding them in.

Remember this phrase. It'll help you in life. Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Now, make a choice. Is this test important to you? Go study, prepare and get it done if it is. If it isn't then find another venue.

3: You have no one to impress but yourself. You don't have to live with our opinions looming over you every moment; you have to live with yourself. Stop being nervous, say what it is you need to say and leave it at that.

4 & 5: Yes, every one wants to move out. Get a good job, learn to manage money, save up and it'll happen.

6: IT from the high end all the way down to the technical support guys who sit on phones and read from a data sheet are ALL learning things that may or may not improve their jobs or earn them money. It's an important trait as D.O. pointed out.

7 & 8: Combine those into a career. Make websites or become a web admin. It sounds like you have the skillset for that.

If web design does not sound like a field you'd like...then as some other people said, work backwards. Find something that interests you and see the requirements. If you think they are too hard, go back to the drawing board. While you're doing that though get employed flipping burgers if you have to. Minimum wage in the bank is better than no wage at all and it does take money to earn money.