Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

[barry99705]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

According to etiquette if one urinal, the end urinal, is in use, thou shalt utilise the urinal at the opposite end of the installation. What does one do when this urinal is of the half height child / midget kind?

You pee on your shoes.....

[sintax_error]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

Yes, but if it turns green when it gets enlarged then you might have another much more serious problem.

That would indeed be a pickle... yeah, a pun. We still need a urinal Czar to increase the number of urinals in public restrooms, though. That or sinks closer to the edge of the counter.

[streaker69]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

Is it similar to Hulkamania?

Yes, but if it turns green when it gets enlarged then you might have another much more serious problem.

[Melesse]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

"Dream to be a hero, in her bed?"

Maybe the sender isn't sure if you're going to be using your massive tool in a male or a females bed, hence the question mark. And if you want to be a hero, you should probably work on marksmanship or kung fu. I didn't realize that sexual prowess was directly equivalent to saving lives. I actually prefer the term "orgasm technician."

"Enhancing your rod will be the best gift for her for St. Valentine’s."

Oh truly. My wife prefers getting reamed out by massive wangs on the most romantic day of the year. How is it going to be enhanced, b/c I have dreamed of having a prehensile penis FOREVER!

"The longer your instrument is the more power it has"

Are you selling me telescopes or rifles?

"You hate your male friend? After enlargement it can become your best friend."

If I hated him before, why would I like him more when he's bigger? Now John won't fit in my car anymore, he's always knocking shit over in my house with his big ass, and he eats me out of house and home when he comes over!

"Every woman will find it hard to let you go if you enlarge your tool."

Cause it's stuck in there. You're going to need to go to the hospital to get it removed.

"How many orgasm can man do?"

Usually one at my age, sadly. More when you're younger or more turned on. Why are you asking me anyways?

"For humping-mania"

I used to have that affliction. Wellbutrin cured it. Is it similar to Hulkamania?

[TheCotMan]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

That story would be perfectly believable except everyone knows that the Martian capital is K'Glork'kkan.

Yes, but if you put inflection in the wrong place it translates to, "There still aren't enough urinals."

Additional material on this topic. Notice how they violate the rules on urinal selection? Is that dangerous?

[streaker69]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

As well as an interesting opportunity to make some money for myself from a young man of the South African Air Force. He was working with NASA, but is now bed-ridden and dying in the Martian Capital of Zhwrong. Turns out his Martian surgeons are unable to operate on the ruptured uterus he suffered when ambushed by a group of rebel Klingons. Nice guy, he says that if I help get his fortune to a church, I can keep 30%.

That story would be perfectly believable except everyone knows that the Martian capital is K'Glork'kkan.

[sintax_error]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

quick skim through spam folder revealed these subjects:

"Making like steel manhood yours."

and

"Try free for best v1agra on the net. Natural our product"

As well as an interesting opportunity to make some money for myself from a young man of the South African Air Force. He was working with NASA, but is now bed-ridden and dying in the Martian Capital of Zhwrong. Turns out his Martian surgeons are unable to operate on the ruptured uterus he suffered when ambushed by a group of rebel Klingons. Nice guy, he says that if I help get his fortune to a church, I can keep 30%.

[Lowie]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

It's like... you can more or less tell what the senders are trying to say if you work at it just a little. But it comes across as patently fake and silly. I can't see what their reasoning is. It sure makes for some unintentional hilarity.

It does tend to be a rather amusing by-product of direct translation from Cyrillic based text. What can be flowing and poetic is often butchered and non-sensical after translation. Throw regional colloquialism into the mix and it's doomed to failure. Or great humour, depending your point of view.

This of course is in no way insinuating that a vast proportion of spam is generated in Slavic regions. Faux capitalism has brought great wealth. Wealth combined with connections of old brings far reaching power. I of course am not in fear of this power. But to be safe, ummm, no insinuation going on here.....

[Deviant Ollam]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

According to etiquette if one urinal, the end urinal, is in use, thou shalt utilise the urinal at the opposite end of the installation. What does one do when this urinal is of the half height child / midget kind?

you make a crude, self-inflating comment like "ah, thank god this bathroom has one fixture low enough that the tip of my massively long member isn't in jeopardy of touching the urinal cake. it's the trouble i have now, ever since ordering the maximum manhood pillz from my email tubes. would you like a link to them, sir? all women want more gushing load in teh bedroom for maximum humping monster quality."

ok, so maybe quoting spam subject lines isn't the best thing. speaking of, can someone please tell me... is the insanely and hilariously bad English featured on basically all spam today just a means of trying to get past filters or is all spam today generated by people with no clue how we talk? here's a small sampling of subject lines from my own mail, if i disable some of my own filters...

"With a bigger tool the confidence will be shown in your eyes."

"Dream to be a hero, in her bed?"

"Enhancing your rod will be the best gift for her for St. Valentine’s."

"The longer your instrument is the more power it has."

"You hate your male friend? After enlargement it can become your best friend."

"Every woman will find it hard to let you go if you enlarge your tool."

"How many orgasm can man do?"

"For humping-mania"

It's like... you can more or less tell what the senders are trying to say if you work at it just a little. But it comes across as patently fake and silly. I can't see what their reasoning is. It sure makes for some unintentional hilarity.

[Lowie]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

According to etiquette if one urinal, the end urinal, is in use, thou shalt utilise the urinal at the opposite end of the installation. What does one do when this urinal is of the half height child / midget kind?

[TheCotMan]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

Add partitions to urinals like they exist for toilets, but skip inclusion of a door. This provides opportunity for adjacent occupancy of urinals without a social issue.

Additionally, the addition of a partition is probably cheaper than the installment of a urinal, if that urinal is not going to be used anyway, and is acting like a really expensive virtual partition.

Problem solved!

[streaker69]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

The problem is these rules lead to suboptimal allocaton of urinals depending on how many are available.

If there are 7 urinals allocation would be more effective in the case where urinals 1 and 7 are occupied if the third person were to take urinal 3 or 5 rather than urinal 4.

Taking urinal 4 per the protocol in the machinima video means if an additional urinal is required there will be no way to allocate it without two men occupying adjacent urinals.

Not only that, but soon we may have to compete for urinals with Women.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/24532/...ion_for_women/

[bascule]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

Covered in an older video:

YouTube: Male Restroom Etiquette

The problem is these rules lead to suboptimal allocaton of urinals depending on how many are available.

If there are 7 urinals allocation would be more effective in the case where urinals 1 and 7 are occupied if the third person were to take urinal 3 or 5 rather than urinal 4.

Taking urinal 4 per the protocol in the machinima video means if an additional urinal is required there will be no way to allocate it without two men occupying adjacent urinals.

[beakmyn]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

Can't they just give it to the cyber security czar? I mean he already handles TCP and IP.

[WickedClown-UK]

Re: Vulnerability in the allocation of urinals

One question, will this be one of the talks at DefCon next year ? :)