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What is in Neil's Pants?
I, Nikita, Spouse of Neil, being of (questionable) sound mind and body do hereby declare the following to the interwebs. In the event that the spousal unit, Neil, does not empty his pants pockets before placing worn and or soiled laundry in the hamper the contents of aforementioned pants pockets will be shared with the internet, including but not limited to digital copies, video archival, or text based inventory.
Thank you,
Nikita
Many of you know Neil, you have seen him at con, you might have even shared a beer. If you have seen him on more than one occasion you may recognize that he always wears the same style, and often same style and color of cargo-style-military-spy pants. If you may also note, Joe Grand, aka Kingpin and Neil dress almost exactly alike, down to the same brand of cargo pant. This is not really relevant but what the heck I'm on a rant.. Neil owns several pairs of these tired army green pants, thanks to me he also owns them in black as well. He will wear the same style, same colors, every day of every week. So basically, Neil looks to the average man like he never changes his damn pants. Well, he does. He does change them and throw them in the laundry. He takes what HE WANTS out of the pockets, considers the rest to be riff raff and deposits them in the hamper. Meanwhile leaving me to empty all ninety thousand pockets, secret compartments and spy nooks that said gang green colored fatigues are composed off. Sort through it, wasting my precious time, that I could be using yelling at someone ELSE on the internet to determine if he needed that receipt for $2.31 from merchant 011199648753687465.
This leaves me with three options:
1.Saying F#%$% It and throw the pants in the wash willy nilly and hope for the best.
2.Asking spousal unit to remove his papers, tinder, classified documents, etc from pants fully.
3.Making a spectacle of it on the internet, at his expense, because 1 & 2 failed repeatedly.
For the first edition of ~~~WHAT'S IN NEIL'S PANTS?~~~ I present to you..... the first of many... random selection:
1. Target coupon for $1 off any 20-oz or larger bagged candy from Nestle or Wonka. THis coupon expires 04/19/2010.
The first person to correctly tell me the design on the first Riviera Key Card that Neil designed may WIN this exact coupon.
This lovely item was nestled amongst 17 different and equally unexciting receipts that I sifted through to find this gem. Hurry! It can be yours if you act fast!
/rant
I have no idea why......
Thank you,
Nikita
Many of you know Neil, you have seen him at con, you might have even shared a beer. If you have seen him on more than one occasion you may recognize that he always wears the same style, and often same style and color of cargo-style-military-spy pants. If you may also note, Joe Grand, aka Kingpin and Neil dress almost exactly alike, down to the same brand of cargo pant. This is not really relevant but what the heck I'm on a rant.. Neil owns several pairs of these tired army green pants, thanks to me he also owns them in black as well. He will wear the same style, same colors, every day of every week. So basically, Neil looks to the average man like he never changes his damn pants. Well, he does. He does change them and throw them in the laundry. He takes what HE WANTS out of the pockets, considers the rest to be riff raff and deposits them in the hamper. Meanwhile leaving me to empty all ninety thousand pockets, secret compartments and spy nooks that said gang green colored fatigues are composed off. Sort through it, wasting my precious time, that I could be using yelling at someone ELSE on the internet to determine if he needed that receipt for $2.31 from merchant 011199648753687465.
This leaves me with three options:
1.Saying F#%$% It and throw the pants in the wash willy nilly and hope for the best.
2.Asking spousal unit to remove his papers, tinder, classified documents, etc from pants fully.
3.Making a spectacle of it on the internet, at his expense, because 1 & 2 failed repeatedly.
For the first edition of ~~~WHAT'S IN NEIL'S PANTS?~~~ I present to you..... the first of many... random selection:
1. Target coupon for $1 off any 20-oz or larger bagged candy from Nestle or Wonka. THis coupon expires 04/19/2010.
The first person to correctly tell me the design on the first Riviera Key Card that Neil designed may WIN this exact coupon.
This lovely item was nestled amongst 17 different and equally unexciting receipts that I sifted through to find this gem. Hurry! It can be yours if you act fast!
/rant
I have no idea why......
. I say if he can't remember he had the extra money to throw around carelessly then he won't mind me taking full advantage of it when it starts to add up to some big bucks. To date since last Defcon (DC17) I have fished a total of $23 USD and one peso from his pants and/or shirt pockets and that right there is a new shirt from Defcon.
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