Screener guide

[murakami]

Ever wonder what things airport screeners are looking for? Courtesy of one of the TLAs, you to get see the x-rays .

[astcell]

Now I have to wonder why they like to put my camera and lenses through 3 or 4 times.

[-sS]

The Card Deck of Death is particularly amusing.  

Finally!  I can make use of those [URL=http://www.davidslife.com/data/cards/Card%20Throwing%20Technique.pdf]skills[/URL] I learned so long ago...

-sS

[[Syntax]]

Not thinking about it, I went thru the metal detector wearing steal toe shoes last year.

This started a chain of events. I was pulled aside, my bags which had been cleared were put aside. Before I was allowed to remove my shoes, I was wand screened and, then asked if anything was in my pockets. I said papers and reached for them and was told to stop. The security had me remove my belt, and spread my arms. He emptied my pockets for me, and then had me sit down to remove my shoes. Only after my whole body was cleared, they moved me over to the tables and began questioning me on items in my bag..

They found my tripod, and camera bag which contained about 15 AA's suspicious.

Anyhow.. Security was really pissed, I had cargo pants on with little buttons and rings, and zippers on the knees and pockets.. No matter how much they removed the wand kept going off. Security guard said "dont you know how to dress?".

[dataworm]

The Card Deck of Death is particularly amusing.  

Finally!  I can make use of those [URL=http://www.davidslife.com/data/cards/Card%20Throwing%20Technique.pdf]skills[/URL] I learned so long ago...

-sS

I need some :) http://www.gungfu.com/cart-htm/weapo...luxe_stars.htm

[replicant]

my metal flask always seems to confuse them when my laptop bag goes through the x-ray. bag get's searched each and every time ..

[noid]

I have similar issues with my flask. Its not so much the flask that seems to touch them off, its whats in it. I try to tell them repeatedly that its full of single malt scotch, but they rarely believe me. I usualy have to end up taking a swig (oh no!) to prove that its not a flamable or caustic liquid. Be careful, if it is combustable (like 151 or Everclear), they can refuse to let you bring it on the plane. Thats a pre 9/11 policy, but now its actually enforced more.

[replicant]

I have similar issues with my flask. Its not so much the flask that seems to touch them off, its whats in it. I try to tell them repeatedly that its full of single malt scotch, but they rarely believe me. I usualy have to end up taking a swig (oh no!) to prove that its not a flamable or caustic liquid. Be careful, if it is combustable (like 151 or Everclear), they can refuse to let you bring it on the plane. Thats a pre 9/11 policy, but now its actually enforced more.

i've only had them open mine up once out of the 3 times it has happened. the guy just smelled it, made a funny face and gave it back. i'm probally gonna leave it @ home this year anyway, i already get enough alcohol in my system while there. i don't need something in my pocket the entire time just taunting me ..

[Gadsden]

i've only had them open mine up once out of the 3 times it has happened. the guy just smelled it, made a funny face and gave it back. i'm probally gonna leave it @ home this year anyway, i already get enough alcohol in my system while there. i don't need something in my pocket the entire time just taunting me ..

I have flown several times with homebrew and have never had an issue.. but there was a woman that had to drink her own brestmilk to satisfy the TSA before.

[TheCotMan]

What the fuck?! Whats the story behind that?

She probably pumped her breast milk, and it was in a container, and they needed proof that the liquid was not toxic/poison.

I seriously doubt she, "flipped out a nipple and proceeded to provide entertainment."

[murakami]

She probably pumped her breast milk, and it was in a container, and they needed proof that the liquid was not toxic/poison.

I seriously doubt she, "flipped out a nipple and proceeded to provide entertainment."

This must be your shortest post ever, give your dickensian style of posting

[[Syntax]]

There was a story about a lady who sued the airlines a few years back. The luggage crew heard a buzzing noise, and set her luggage aside. They announced on the plane for "So-n-so to please come to the cockpit there is a problem with your luggage".

When she got up, the security asked her what was in her suitcase, they heard it making noise. She said she didnt know, the searched it, whiped out a vibrator she had purchased in Vegas, waved it around and stuck it back in the bag.

Heres one article about it.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2154773.stm
and one that mentions it as well as genital piercings.
http://www.tinynibbles.com/traveladvisory.html

[gzzah]

What the fuck?! Whats the story behind that?

Hmmm, I guess you guys haven't seen Fahrenheit 9/11 yet. :D

Barring that, a quick snopes check:

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/outrage/milk.htm

[[Syntax]]

This made the news last week. Its kinda funny.. They checked some guy using a wand, and it kept beeping on his crotch. After a few swipes, the guy got frustrated, undid his belt and dropped his pants. Thing is he was wearing nothing under his pants. He was arrested by airport police, and then ticketed for indecent exposure.

http://www.kron4.com/Global/story.asp?S=2040689

Found more details, turns out he had prepacked a note that said "**** You" in his carry on. Guess the guy had it in for security before he even got to the airport.

UPDATE:
Found the rest of the articles..
Vibrator In Luggage
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/news/...delta-suit.htm
Beeping Crotch
http://www.usatoday.com/travel/news/...ed-pants_x.htm
Drank Breastmilk
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/...ast-milk_x.htm

Lots of action at these security checkpoints.

[Gadsden]

This made the news last week. Its kinda funny.. They checked some guy using a wand, and it kept beeping on his crotch. After a few swipes, the guy got frustrated, undid his belt and dropped his pants. Thing is he was wearing nothing under his pants. He was arrested by airport police, and then ticketed for indecent exposure.

http://www.kron4.com/Global/story.asp?S=2040689

Found more details, turns out he had prepacked a note that said "**** You" in his carry on. Guess the guy had it in for security before he even got to the airport.

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/news/...ed-pants_x.htm

I have always wanted to do the Spinal Tap "cucumber-wrapped-in-foil" trick. :p