Girls

[Mr.A]

I've already thought as hard as I can about it, but I was wondering about any other opinions. Even though people would say computer people that come here wouldn't know much about the topic :P. But what i wanted to know is, what would be the best way to tell a girl you love her, what with valentines and all :/.

For me, there's this girl at school, of course, and she's the nicest person i know. She's one of the only people at school who actually know me who doesn't treat me like a disease or like garbage. She's very artistic and cute too :), I've liked her alot for a long time and I've never been able to get the words out of my mouth.

Well, as I've said, most people treat me like the trash, so it's really hard for me to ask her out or anything like that in front of others, since sometimes i think she'll say no, just because of what other people would think...

I myself, am a kind of shy person... so I'm really not good with just running up to her and saying it, no matter how much i try to convince my mirror.

I really, truly love this girl, but it's so hard to tell her. I can already predict some of the answers like "wut r u a puss?" and I'd rather have a mature perspective on an easy way for a person like who, who can't let out their feelings too easy and am kinda shy, to tell this girl how i feel. So does anyone have any experience in this field?

[Samurai Drifter]

Actually, I would reccomend something simple. You don't need to do anything too elaborate, just give her some flowers and tell her how you feel. I know what it's like; I'm the exact same way when it comes to girls and if you chicken out you'll regret it for a long time. Is there a chance that she'll reject you and your friendship will be ruined? It's possible, but probably not likely. At the very least she'll be nice about it if you're friends, and the only other alternative is the good one.

So don't beat around the bush, just be honest, straightfoward, and open. Just get the words out without thinking about it too much, and give her something nice (again, like flowers). I know it's hard to "spit it out", so to speak, but she can't read your mind and if you don't take some initiative a possible opprotunity will pass you by. (If she treats you well when most people don't, there's a good chance she likes you too).

Just my two cents.

[klepto]

Weird topic but this *is* community talk...

NO, don't tell her how you feel. You will freak her out, trust me. That shit just works in the movies.

But DO give her some flowers and a card. If she is happy you gave it to her, then ask her if she would like to go out to have coffee with you, if it works out, then that same night go and have dinner.

[SlackJaw]

Don't think she'll freak...

Look here youngblood....I'm 43 and can tell you with percision accuracy that regret is the biggest obstacle as you move through life. You view me as old and waiting on my turn to die but let me assure you that my dreams and aspirations are as vibrant and as vivid as yours. However, these "older" guys here will tell you, that the only spirtual and emotional difference between you and me is perspective. As you play out every possible secenario you become irrational and cheat yourself out of happiness, self esteem, and fulfillment. And yes, you can grow and learn from rejection too!

The emotions of your perception of love, at you age, supercedes logic and reason and you allow yourself to "go all in" on this one small moment in your life while your perspective about your self-worth becomes diminished. Will you have any less value as a human being should she decide or FEEL there is no compatibility between you two? Of course not. Remember, she's buzzing with adolescent confusion too as she's shaping and molding her character and place in society.

There's nothing new under the sun kid, so a seeming broken heart or emmense joy both have the same gifts to offer: growth, insight, and steps to maturity.

So shake off the peer pressure, stop playing the "what if" game with yourself, and take a step toward becoming a man. You'll be rewarded imediately or sometime later but you will benefit regardless of the outcome.

Good luck youngster....we're pulling for ya.

T

[FunkyChicken]

well im quiet a confident person so ive allways found it easy to say anything to anyone. One thing i do advise tho is dnt tell her that you love her, she will run a mile mate.

and to be fair who gives a shit what anyone else thinks? if you like her just go for it. the longer you leave it the more chance there is of a more confident guy asking her out, you dont want that. so bite the bullet and just say;

"i'm free tonight, want to do something?"

cinema? meal? bowling? ice skating? drink? clubbing?

one of the best dates i have been on is ice skating, i would advise it to anyone.

just say to her, "you want to come ice skating tonight, just me and you?" tell her you will drive,ect.....

then it shows her that your in control, and if your too young to drive just get a taxi, DONT GET MUM TO DROP YOU OFF!!!!!

anyways mate, good luck with it all, let us all know how you get on

and remember "what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger"

[big chopper]

I agree with everything that FunkyChicken wrote. Just ask her if she wants to do something, but don't say "something". Have a definate thing to do like have coffee or get a burger.

At the worst she'll be flattered. All girls like to be asked out, even if they say no.
--BC,

[Deviant Ollam]

i'll second much of the advice above. in approaching her or opening up to her, just be simple, straightforward, and honest. no need to express the full depth and intensity of all your feelings at once, but something that is a clear guesture like flowers and a simple heartfelt sentiment could work really well. i'll mention that place and setting is a key factor that can exacerbate or greatly reduce anxiety and potential for difficulty.

what i mean is, walking up to her in a school hallway with the flowers in one hand behind your back as she fiddles with her locker and people are all around would be enough to get most guys your age sweating bullets, and the shock of receiving them there might make it hard to guague her reaction. if you both drive to school (didn't catch your ages in all this) maybe you put them in your car and at the end of the day try to slip out to parking lot early and lay them on her car (like a small bouquet of three or six) under her windshield wiper. or, if you know where her house is, you get over there in the morning and leave them in a vase on her front doorstep. that way could be even better since it leads to a conversation when you guys see each other that day.

as far as the card is concerned, simplicity and honesty once again. depending on the angle you want to play it, you could word it like "it's not always easy being me... but knowing you has made a great difference in my life. you have always been honest and kind to me, when so many others were not. thank you for being who you are." no need for hearts or X's and O's if you don't want. that way, when you see each other she'll say the typical "that was so sweet" etc etc. you can easily roll into a whole "well, i meant it" bit. then, a simple (almost throw-away off to the side) question of "hey, what are you doing this weekend?" or "do you want to hang out sometime?" can come up. (i didn't gather if you'd already spent a lot of time hanging out or not... if so, then have specific plans or ideas ready on the "what are you doing later" front. offer them up.)

always remember - fortune favors the backbone far more than the wishbone.

p.s. - one last point. while geekiness may make for difficulty in one's social life, it does have one key advantage that i can think of in that area... gift-giving. specifically, movies and music. i know that one of the highlights of all holidays and birthdays i experience is the ability to give people loads and loads of music, etc, that they would have never known without knowing me. just by knowing the genre of things that people like, you can search for TONS of material that is related but obscure. augment her music collection with a half-dozen discs or so (with some custom covers, etc etc) and she'll definitely dig it. no matter how many times i tell everyone that it's no big deal to download, mix, and burn music they refuse to give up the notion that it takes forever and is a lot of work.

[astcell]

Tell you what. Tell yourself you will say something to ten new people today. Maybe you like their hair. Maybe you admire their leetness. Just find 10 people at random and make a positive comment about them. LIke if you ask a sranger for the time, then say "Nice watch."

Now after you do that it will be so much easier. Now go give the girl a compliment. Figure the odds are she will say thanks and that's it. At least now she knows who you are.

So then plan to ask her out five times and be rejected five times. If ot goes so, you will have done your part, the onus is on her. If she says yes, you will be glad you did!

[mfreeck]

I'm not a girl, but I am sometimes mistaken for one. I am in general agreement with funkychicken's advice, and partially with slackjaw... pony up and get it over with. The limbo sucks ass and will rob you in the future if you never make that decision. I do not think you should tell a female that you love her until you've been dating for three months (or she says it first). If someone asked me on a date by telling me they loved me, I'd run far away, seeing that person not as wussy at all, but as needy and would probably become overly attached to me. When I was young I did not like "puppy dogs." You know, the cute little thing that follows you around constantly at your heels and is obediant to your every wish? Don't be afraid to disagree and to have your own personalities and interests... it will pay off in the long run. I highly respect someone who is generally easy going yet will stand up to me, even if I quarrel with their opinion at the time.

Hrm... that turned into quite a ramble. Ask her out. Keep mum about the love stuff until she says it first. Breathe. Relax... she already knows you like her, I can just about guarantee it. She hasn't already told you to piss off, so you've already got somebody who is receptive to listening to you. If she does say no, it'll suck at the time, but keep moving on. The males who do best in HS with the girls are usually the ones who are still single in their 30s and 40s (not in a relationship of their choice), while the geeky guys who couldn't get a date because they were busy getting smart and/or developing themselves are already married (or in a relationship arrangement of choice).

[semprix]

This is a really weird topic. Never thought of this that computer geeks would fall in, such a weirdo, anyway when it comes to this love like feeling you will always have to be true to yourself. Be yourself ask her out but if it doesnt work, you still have a lot of life to live its not the end of the world, there are still a lot of girls outthere. Go out have fun and enjoy life

[Mr.A]

Well, that's quite a mouth-full, but since I've been thinkin' about it, which was before i even came back to check all the info stacked up, I got something together. I pretty much have the whole idea od "I'll regret it" and to "jump in", so here's what I myself plan to do:

I'm going to buy a nice boquet of flowers (not too fancy, cause it'd be weird...) and give them to her on Valentine's Day, around 8:25, cause that's when she gets to school. I'm gonna give her the flowers, tell her i like her alot, and ask if she'd like to go out sometime later this week. The best part is I've got a appointment at 10:00 elsewhere so I'm gonna be able to get out of school, and she has more time to think, without me around for any sorta pressure.

Well, that's what I think will work for me, I dunno what any of you other heart hackers plan on doing for their love attraction, but good luck ^_^.

[FunkyChicken]

as bad as this sounds this is my advice.

when i go clubbing im not scared to ask 20 girls for a "cup of coffee" (older people will understand that phrase). If 19 say no i couldn't care less, i can handle the rejection. But the 20th person said yes.

Persistence is the key, what my father told me has stuck with me for my whole life;

"You only ever fail when you give up trying"

[astcell]

Persistence is the key, what my father told me has stuck with me for my whole life;

"You only ever fail when you give up trying"

Your father is Babe Ruth?

[FunkyChicken]

nope, he defo aint babe ruth but thats a message my dads has passed onto me

means quiet alot to me aswell cause now i know that even tho i feel like ive failed i might still have another byte of the bullet left.

anyways guys,

night night to you all

P.s. This topic is a wild one!

[Mr.A]

Wow, I made a topic that turned hot :D. But on the topic, the time I'm writing this would mean that tommorow is when I'm going to try and impress the girl I like...

Hopefully I don't screw myself over TOO much and she agrees to see a movie with me, but I'm not sure what movie to ask her to go see. What movies would a usual girl like to see, without thinking you're stupid? :/

I'm thinking of asking her if she'd want to see Underworld: Evolution, even though i don't really like the "idea recycling" thing that's been going on. But I'd be happy to have any other date-movie ideas for myself and anyone else who looks here.