Smoking... A Plea

[renderman]

Though the topic has been discussed before, ad nauseum, this is not one of those threads. This is me and my personal rant on the subject, feel free to ignore, /dev/null or whatever, but in good conscience I feel I have to say something to make this situation have some meaning:

I'm currently watching a family member die from Cancer. Nothing suprising there as he smoked heavily for most of his life and it's the natural 'what the hell did you expect' result. We're counting the days, just waiting for him to pass and the pain to end. He will be missed, but the cause will always be in our minds.

I've also recently been dealing with, over the last year, other friends and family members dealing with heart disease and other directly attributable results from smoking for years. It's getting epidemic around me.

I dont need to say, this sucks horribly.

For obvious reasons I've been thinking about family alot lately and part of that is my extended, adopted family. You folks. The ones I laugh with and drink with at con, work with on projects and share choice intellectual arguments with here and anywere else we run into one another. You are part of my family, wether you like it or not. We may not be blood, but the connection is similar. Brothers and Sisters in arms.

I know it's been debated about the legalities, ethics, moralities and even the personal choice to smoke at con, but this rant is a personal one.

You are my family and my friends. This is a simple request: Stop smoking. If not for any reason, than that I care for you and want you to continue, arguing, debating, conspiring, partying, hacking, picking and generally enjoying your one anothers company. We can't do that if your dead or dying.

It's selfish that I want you around for my own reasons, but I am sure, I'm not the only one. We never say it, but we all mean alot to each other. If we did'nt many of us would not cross the world to show up to the middle of the desert each year, on the hottest month, to some two-bit hotel, to spend time with one another and briefly enjoy one anothers company.

This may end up violating rules and be /dev/null'd and I'd totally understand, but if someone who reads this and stops smoking and lives to be at another con to spend time with me, then some small good will have been done and I will know that some good has come from this personal tragedy.

Render

[TheCotMan]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

This may end up violating rules and be /dev/null'd and I'd totally understand...

Eh. I don't see it as a rule violation, but Chris might. ;-)

If it turns political and people start talking about passing laws limiting where people can smoke, or talk about elimination such laws, then it will be /dev/null-ed for politics. So long as it is all about personal choices and personal actions with people you know and not about laws, or rights, or similar, I have no problem with it being in Community Talk. A better place might have been /dev/random, but I'm too lazy to move it.

The problem I have had with this and people that smoke, is my attempt to push them to not smoke pushed them further to smoke more, and away from me. The added stress [and sometimes guilt] of the issue being made personal with a friend or loved one caused them to fall to an artificial stress reliever -- smoking. What I generally do now is let them know, "I will only tell you this once," and say I care about them, that I understand their choices are their own, but that I would rather they remained alive and around to enjoy more experiences instead of fewer experiences. Then, I don't bring it up again unless they ever decide to talk about it and bring it up as a point of conversation. I'd like to hear of other methods that other people prefer.

Sorry about your expected loss Renderman.

[kallahar]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

I completely agree with you, smoking has been clearly shown to have negative long term affects on people's health. I fully support people's rights to do it, but I'd also hope that they would think long term.

Furthering the "health" argument: alcohol, "hard" drugs, eating meat, consuming too much sugar, and having silverware fights at weddings are also dangerous to your long term health. Personally I try to limit all of those to special occasions.

Kallahar

[converge]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

Have there been any studies on the longterm effects of craisins?

[noid]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

I completely agree with you, smoking has been clearly shown to have negative long term affects on people's health. I fully support people's rights to do it, but I'd also hope that they would think long term.

Furthering the "health" argument: alcohol, "hard" drugs, eating meat, consuming too much sugar, and having silverware fights at weddings are also dangerous to your long term health. Personally I try to limit all of those to special occasions.

Kallahar

We've established that silverware fights are only harmful to YOUR health.

[Nikita]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

When I smoked, and I did since from the age of 11 to 29 ( regularly half a pack or more a day, yes even at 11) I found that the pleas for my health only made me feel worse about an addiction I couldn't stop.

I wanted to quit many many times and I just couldn't do it, I was given many opportunities, people bought me the drugs for cessation, but eventually I ended right back up on it. I don't care what people say, until you have been a smoker and ADDICTED that heavily to something you will never understand. I wanted to PUNCH people who said "just quit", as if it was that simple. It's funny, people have way more sympathy for a crack head, meth addict, alcoholic or heroin user than they ever seem to have for a smoker. It's a drug, it's a hard hard habit to break. NO it's not the nicotine that is the real addictive and killer. It's the rest of the crap you are smoking and the habit itself, the hit at the back of the throat, the feeling, the effect it has on you. I can't stand how non smokers think that we are dumb and don't know that what we are doing is gross and bad for us, we know we just stopped caring, and when we do care the stress of not having a smoke is really resolved effectively when you "just have one last one"

I found a few things make it easier to quit a new pill designed for smoking cessation, takes the withdrawal away and what Neil and I did to quit finally ( we hope) is the e-cig. Sadly, both of these methods are something that will only work if the addict is ready to quit. I quit the minute I found out I was pregnant and started the e-cig the next day, every once in awhile the thought crosses my mind and I weigh the consequences and I don't do it. I haven't even smoked the e-cig in months either, I got bored with it. It takes a long time to break the chain, and consistency and re-training the addict. If anyone is curious about the e-cig let me know, I wanted to post more info, but I'm not sure if that's "spam" by proxy. I mean, yeah I'd recommend this product 110% so I don't know if that's crossing a line by naming it and or linking to where to get it.

That said, I understand both sides. My grandparents would still be alive if they had quit smoking. Seeing people die from smoking related illness....that wasn't even enough to make me give it up. That hurt, a lot. Thankfully I quit for myself, and in good timing, so not to hurt someone who didn't have a choice, I didn't have guilt associated with that. It was simple to me I wanted to quit and now here is my chance and I took it. I'm hopeful that enough time has passed that I won't fall back into the cycle, I will do everything I can to stay healthy, but the heart of the matter is, I'm an addict, no different from an alcoholic or user. Addicts have a way of justifying and rationalizing their behavior to get what they want, to make it ok. I hope that knowing that will make it easier to catch myself before I do it and I think that knowing that makes it easier to handle. I wish there was a smokers anonymous......we could use it.


That rant aside. I feel for you renderman, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through right now, I hope that your post and this discussion to lead to one of us seeking help and to be healthier, in any way be it smoking, drinking, or eating red meats with rat poison for all I know. I hope the health of your loved ones improves.

[AgentDarkApple]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

Render, so sorry about your family member. I chose to never start smoking when I saw the health effects that long-term smoking had on my step-grandma. She ended up with emphysema and heart problems and died fairly young at age 62. My husband's aunt died from lung cancer caused by exposure to second-hand smoke and was barely 50. I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. I hope your post encourages others to consider giving up smoking!

[xor]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

I just wanted to express my sympathies to Render and his family. I've been there with my mother, it sucks. Something Niki stated about children however rings true. Paraphrasing, once you have children, everything must change. It's one thing to mess up your own life(pick your poison), it's another to hurt people that need you, and are counting on you. IMHO Cowboy/girl up and do the right thing for your family.

I would break the P&R rules commenting further.

xor

[sintax_error]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

I've recently found myself sans tobacco. Those of you who know me outside the text based world of the forums know that until the end of DC18, I smoked heavily, pack a day or more. After the events that concluded my time in Vegas that weekend, I was forced to quit, and though we're 2 months out to the day, I am still highly tempted, and the cravings have yet to cease. However, I will say that it's worth it. I too have gone the e-cig route, and so far am saving nearly $200 a month. Not to mention the fact that my clothes are starting to smell better, dust in the house has been reduced 10 fold, and I am starting to feel better overall. Do I miss it? Not only yes, but hell yes. Quitting is probably one of the better things I've done not only for myself, but for my family and friends.

[renderman]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

My uncle passed yesterday surrounded by family, in whatever peace that may have brought to him.

Thank you all for your support. I won't comment on this thread or topic further.

[astcell]

Re: Smoking... A Plea

My mother died from smoking while I was deployed. She was in her 60s. I cry for no one who dies from smoking, it is absolutely senseless. But for those who do plan to keep smoking, make a will. dying without a will is the best way to tell your family you want to screw them for years to come. Kind of a double-tap on your relatives.