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S O C A L C A R C A R A V A N
S O C A L C A R C A R A V A N
RESURRECTION EDITION, 2013
S O C A L C A R C A R A V A N
>> READ AND DISTRIBUTE AND READ AND DISTRIBUTE AND READ AND DISTRIBUTE <<
Preliminary Announcement: 02/15/2013
We are proud to announce the reestablishment of the SoCal Car Caravan
to Defcon after a decade in abeyance.
PEOPLE OF EARTH! If you are reading this, you have been chosen
to take part in a glorious motor caravan across the desert wastes to
face death, glory, and people with blue hair who may be feds. The Socal
Caravan to Defcon returns after a decade of terrible absence. Take part
in the event your children's children will be memetically encoded with!
WHO: You know who you are - and likely have a car at your disposal.
WHAT: Interstate 15 to Las Vegas from Los Angeles.
WHERE: Ontario Mills, California
WHEN: Wednesday before Defcon.
WHY: To make the pilgrimage to the east alongside your fellow
technophiles, and maybe make the occasional dick joke over
walkie talkies.
DESCRIPTION:
So you're bored, and have never gone to a convention? You want to
collect intel on your fellow technophiles? Travel east with out motley
collection of your fellow hackers, phreaks, scions of the illuminati,
and tantric sex gods! The Socal Car Caravan convenes at the Ontario
Mills mall the Wednesday before the con, there the mighty will join our
warhost. Direction will be provided exclusively over desert crossing
radio, a fearsome communications station located in the mothership that
will guide us into the east.
You will arrive in Vegas with many a tale to tell, and even if you do
return, you will not be the same as when you left. It will be amazing,
we will fight anyone who says otherwise, then they will explode.
FINAL NOTES:
COST: The caravan is provided at no cost to you. You are
required to provide your own vehicle, or find one to
ride in. Fuel and food costs are yours to bear as well.
Free entertainment will be provided prior to depature as
we attempt to array our fellow hackers for launch in a
ritual known as "The Herding of the Cats!"
TUNES: Your vehicle should be equipped with an FM radio and
speakers suitable for listening to it. Desert Crossing
Radio on 104.7 FM will be vital to your journey. We have
solicited all manner of entertainment for this endeavour.
If you have anything you wish to contribute, please post
in this thread.
FOR MORE INFORMATION:
For initial comments, requests for more information, information
about driving a car poorly, or maps to where prostitutes can't be seen
entering the Rio, post in this thread by using your
InterNetBrowsarMaschien.
Or Email: socalcarcaravan@gmail.com for caravan information/updates and
to leave questions or comments.
Or Snail Mail (U.S. Postal Service) it to SoCalCarCaravan, c/o Null
Space Labs, 1015 South Main Street, Los Angeles, CA, 90015.
Future information updates will pertain to the driving agenda.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Updates since the last caravan:
>> The FCC and CHP are too busy to attend. We disavow the associated
diversions.
>> Top Gear, Pirate Radio Weekly, and Stephen Hawking have stated they
will attend.
>> We got a forum thread going for comments and questions. Go us!
>> We don't have enough $$$ to run the landfortress this year. Sorry.
>> A twelve year old screaming "Faggot!" will be representing anonymous
and a few other organizations.
++ Desert Crossing Radio will cover the event
++ There won't be anyone handing out awards for participation, but there
may be swag
++ Stever will be dragged behind a Smart Car all the way to Las Vegas
Don't forget to put stickers representing any of the groups you belong
to on your vehicle. We want to see cars in the parking lot displaying
all the various groups / people attending. TAKE PRIDE IN YOUR COLORS!
(Break out the vinyl cutter and go to town)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SOCAL CAR CARAVAN [PROPOSED TRAVEL SCHEDULE UPDATED 02.15.2013]
Wednesday the 31st of July 3pm, Ontario Mills, California
5pm Begin gathering at Ontario Mills.
Near-enough location: 34.073653N,
117.546932W. You'll know how to
find your own.
7pm Depart. Head up I-15 North towards
Las Vegas.
A While Later Stop at In & Out in Barstow. Food
and fuel; check your vehicle.
An Hour After That Back onto I-15 North.
Past That Point Stop at the Chevron in Baker. Last
food and fuel break before Las Vegas;
Check your vehicle.
ARRIVAL Reach the Rio Hotel and Casino.
DEFCON DEFCON DEFCON DEFCON DEFCON
This itinerary is proposed, and may change as necessary. This is by no
means the exact format of The Socal Car Caravan.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[> SOCAL CAR CARAVAN and Desert Crossing Radio <]
Desert Crossing Radio is the official radio station of the SoCal
Car Caravan. Broadcasting on 104.7 MHz in FM Stereo, it serves two
purposes: one, to be a rolling FCC violation; two, to keep everyone
up-to-date as to the caravan's progress.
Due to past experience with erroneous departure and stop
information being passed around to caravan participants, we really do
not want a repeat of that this year. As a result all official
caravan-related info will be relayed solely via Desert Crossing Radio on
104.7 FM. Announcements heard anywhere else relating to the caravan
should be double-checked against the information being given on Desert
Crossing Radio for accuracy. Don't trust what you hear elsewhere - DCR
is your sole outlet for caravan info.
New for this year: the DCR request line. We'll be accepting
requests both by voice and SMS, but have your passenger handle texting -
we don't need accidents. If we're feeling frisky, we may even put you
on the air. The SMS / voicemail / request line phone number will be
announced over the air on DCR 104.7 FM on the day of departure.
Traditionally, DCR holds a moment of silence as we pass the Cima
Road exit on I-15. This is in remembrance of the Mojave Phone Booth,
cruelly removed by Pacific Bell and the National Parks Service because
people enjoyed going out to it. The history of the World's Loneliest
Phone booth can be found at http://www.deuceofclubs.com/moj/mojave.htm .
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