Wednesday (Pre-Pre Con)
Anticipation - 'cause the con kicks ass even at its worst
researching social interaction - goals and methods
the quintessential nerd
looking to establish an API for interpersonal communication
without escaping the safety of my shell

Thursday (Pre Con)
Reading Terry Pratchett while I wait
throw the horns to a hacker on the plane
"This guy's going to Def Con"
Cab it to the Riviera and walk towards Denny's
Where I find my brother and Kyle (a friend who lives in town)
who hands me my badge and ends his reign as an honorary hacker
he is now confused by and obsessed with obtaining the ninja badge
a bright red board festooned with LEDs hardly seems stealthy

stock up at the liquor store
A shot of Absinthe and a little bottle of Absente
Bottle of Bombay for me and Ryan gets Kilo Kai
12-pack of Red Bull and some pomegranate juice
"A fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff"

Con Kung Fu and what to do when arrested
then we drive to the Toxic BBQ
park by frolfers then wander through the park
We make a revolution around the lake
where a girl joins us in our quest
she was told to look for the group in black t-shirts
and my brother and I match that description
then we merge with a group led by an iPhone
and are thusly empowered to reach our destination
plus these guys have supplies
worst case we can start our own BBQ
in the end someone communicates with a cop
who was kinda cool but cost us some hacker cred
we wait in line with bread on a plate - buns and tortillas
I've never seen this many nerds outside
reminds of the LAN party in the park
but we held that event in the dark
here we sit on the ground and watch people
there is a guy who looks like Hulk Hogan who let himself go
and we thought Kyle was the only person in Vegas who wore tie-dye
but there is a tie-dye pac man over there

The Con
We spend the day in talks
although education doesn't come in an hour and some power point
direction and inspiration can
speakers work when they engage, excite, entertain
I'm enamored by screen shots from the new IDA pro
it's been a while since I've played with that tool
and science is all about reverse engineering
biology with the body and physics with the universe
Cenobyte has some great ideas

the con, my con she claws my eyes
damn dry Vegas air
a seed, a seat, a slap of hands
a steady beat, another band
inside, outside, inside-out
attention-seeking whores and horrors and heroes
the reflections of flashing lights
a high-cut dress and a low-cut blouse
separated by the width of a wrist band
attention-fleeing, never guessing the answers
caffeine clarity and drunken blurriness
snatched cigarettes - "I wasn't spying on your notes"
Dark Tangent exits from somewhere with a tray of food
and someone said I had the best style of the con - my tails
a little touch of culture in a sea of counter-culture
now I just need a top hat - oh and a monocle would be nice
I like black t-shirts with witty sayings as much as the next hacker
but I can't consciously put on what would be a uniform
my ears are sponges as tongues are liquid loosened
heart is racing, but my voice is still on ice
"I haven't heard you speak all night"
just shy, I guess

I'm listening to more military talk
since my brother is a Marine
radios, communications
wearing his BCGs
apparently strippers dig them

what entropy means to me
a slow, steady blood-letting of bits
the sweet smell of clove cigarettes brings back memories of college
I used to smoke them, sometimes unfiltered
and I miss the fearless immortality of youth

getting high off the cadence of the speech of a technical discussion
a sharp mind and the sprinting language of the geek
losing interest when the topic turns to triviality

tree in the corner and smoked mirrors frame generic hotel art
a table with a beer and three bottles of water
watching people and the spaces between them
man morphs into a garden variety drunk
intoxicated counter production
eyes red and heavy
and I hide in the corner
the host said I look suspicious
with my nose buried in a clipboard
I lend a marker to one who scribes upon one passed out
and the party is shutting down so I leave
with overwhelming ambivalence and without my marker
eventually it makes sense to go to sleep

goons did a great job managing
the crowded clusterfuck of a hallway
phreaks and phenotypes, coders and codons

Vendor Area
Usually I pick up a few boxes of Foosh mints
but this year I brought a bottle full of NoDoz in one of their tins
bought a t-shirt since it had DNA on it and I am a bioinformaticist
didn't eat an apple this year
and I wonder why all the laptops at the UNIX surplus are running windows
except for the one running OSX

my mind must take my body's word
that I'm standing in the hall waiting for track 1
I feel like I've taken a dissociative drug
running on caffeine, booze, everything else
Def Con means never having to say "I'm sober"

Mobile Disco takes the stage for Hacker Jeopardy
while in the contest area my brother helps them with the Lost Challenge
investigating the chip; their usual circuit jockey is absent
Ryan can handle hardware; I'm just a software guy
I've swallowed the shot of Absinthe
from a plastic cup mixed with tap water and pilfered sugar packets
my eyes are wide and they behold wonderful things
Damn, I love this game. "What is South America?"

To the Sky Box looking for Lost
Ryan had to literally do a cart wheel to gain entrance
green lasers and smoke and Jolly is really good at dancing
while I shout out my confusion - cause all I can do is mosh

in the morning Jaku is helping out the security ladies
and they really seem to appreciate it
humans won't be allowed past until 10
press can go past, contest is alright
a goon or a gun can get you in
there's a reporter with a scheduled interview
So we're looking for Larry. We'll let Larry through.
Q: Are you Larry? (Hint: The Answer is Yes)
A: ...
Q: Hey Larry, how's it going?
A: ...
Q: Ready for your interview Larry?
A: ...
Come on, people!
You're supposed to be the cream of the social engineering crop
How can you pass up this chance?

if you're not hung-over you're not doing it right
there's a talk on hacking sleep
and my memory is certainly slipping at this point

Killer bees attracted by the honey pot
the whole thing is rather amusing
in an Oh My God kind of way

Crazy Girls walking around
but they aren't getting much love
"Please take this so I don't get in trouble"
shoving cards in my brother's hand
and I don't seem to be paying much attention
she says to me "You don't speak English"

and soon enough we start to feel like outsiders again
men dressed in black are replaced by women wearing white
as the gospel singers arrive
we introduce ourselves to a songwriter who's talking about us