The following is how to completely fuck up and lose your "DJ Jackalope Will Play for you for Free" card:

1. According to other nights, it looks like your club night starts at 10pm. None of your people is at the club at 10pm and the club is playing disco.

2. 10:30 drags by with no contact from any promoter. I'm about to leave, but some of my friends show up, so I stay.

3: 10:45 one of the promoters (or resident DJ, I'm not sure which) finally decides to show up. The other promoter hasn't showed up yet, so i message him to find out what is going on and tell him other guy's phone is dead.

4: The first DJ asks me if I have access to a CDJ to bring to the club. NO. WHY THE HELL DID THE GUY WHO ASKED ME TO PLAY ASK ME THE NIGHT BEFORE WHAT EQUIPMENT I NEEDED TO PLAY ON? What is this, the Primerdome???

5: The DJ who shows up at 10:45 asks me if I wouldn't mind playing later so he could play his full set. YES I FUCKING MIND. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS LATE. I was booked from 11:10-12:20. So I shrug and make a deal to play from like 11:45ish to 12:20.

6: Promoter shows up with his set up and a CDJ. His text said he would be right there and he was right *plus for your team*

7: CDJ get set up. I'm not one to pick on people's gear...but ummmmm.....sorry guys, but if you want to run a pro night, play with a set up that pro djs can play on. The promoter comes up and tells me that the club mixer is broken and will only play mono.

At that point, I just told him to call it off. There really wasn't any point in me wasting my time. Sorry guys, but like I said, if you are going to run a professional club night, especially a weekly, you guys need to learn to be professionals yourselves, first. I've played for you both before in different situations and this isn't the first time that things haven't quite gone as smoothly as they could have been with some advanced planning on your part as promoters.

/end of bitch session. And remember it's business, nothing personal to you guys. I know money is tight, but get shit right.