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hope you like this resignation letter

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  • hope you like this resignation letter

    No idea if this is legit or not, but it sure is a laugher...

    Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers,
    USA, to her boss, who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

    Dear Mr. Baker,

    As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
    basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors
    have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After
    your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during
    the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of
    the few true genetic wastes of our time.

    Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
    everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
    only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was
    hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were
    apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees,
    who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and
    paste" for the hundredth time.

    You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple
    as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never
    understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it
    to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as
    telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality
    than you ever will.

    You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
    others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
    worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
    responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their
    talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of
    managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else
    eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert
    principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you
    getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced
    to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

    1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal
    for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt
    me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you
    over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you
    would be unable to do it on your own.

    2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I
    know every password you have used for the last five years. If you
    decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
    conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
    believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the

    3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
    Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take
    pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
    like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never
    seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have
    been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing
    letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate
    having to correct your mistakes.)

    Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on
    my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of
    your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never
    f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with
    all that free time!

    Wishing you a grand and glorious day

    Adversity doesn't build character. It reveals it.

    If only there were more time

  • #2
    Funny, but more than likely just someone putting their fantasy in words.
    .: Grifter :.


    • #3
      Apparently this person doesn't get out much, there are PLENTY of things you can do with a sauce bottle.


      • #4
        I like the line, "I am the SysAdmin. I know what you do in your free time."

        Gotta use that. Will freak people out.


        • #5
          Originally posted by astcell
          I like the line, "I am the SysAdmin. I know what you do in your free time."

          Gotta use that. Will freak people out.

          I think I have a new quote for my email at work! ;)
          Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.


          • #6

            Originally posted by astcell
            I like the line, "I am the SysAdmin. I know what you do in your free time."

            Gotta use that. Will freak people out.
            Reminds me of the ThinkGeek t-shirt....