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Defcon Bible/FAQ

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  • Defcon Bible/FAQ

    A little over a year ago, Grifter made a posting Refering to the Defcon Bible/FAQ. While searching the forums, I stumbled across it and since I hadn't heard anything about it since, I decided to answer some of the questions.

    Q) Can I really walk around for 3 days with liquor in my hand and no one will say anything?
    A) Of course, as long as you are over 21, since we don't endorse underage drinking.

    Q) What happens to me if i fall asleep on the ground, or on a lounge chair by the pool?
    A) Best Case (Unlikely): You will go unnoticed, Medium Case: You will get tagged. Worst Case: Someone will steal the stuff right off you.

    Q) What are the channels for defcon TV? why doesn't someone press play when the DVD is just sitting there? Why are all the channels blue?
    A) Grifter could Best Answer this

    Q) Why aren't there any tents this year at defcon?
    A) Do to some trouble fire/code issues the roof tent had to disappear.

    Q) Cost of defcon pass, What the pass is good for(like number of days).
    A) Currently the Defcon Pass is Eighty Dollars ($80 USD). The Pass is good for the three days of the con and allows you access to the Speakers, Vendor Area and the ability to walk around the hotel without getting hassled.

    Q) Cost of AP
    A) It's best to call them for their current rates, as it has been proven that registering on the websites doesn't garuntee you a room.

    Q) Age requirements of attendees
    A) Any Age if fine, but understand that this event is not meant for children. Luckily the AP is a non-Gambling Casion, so 18 year olds can get a room. However, if you are under that age make sure you talk to your parents about it, since NO-ONE there will take responsibilty for you.

    Q) Is it ok to bring a parent, or legal guardian?
    A) If you're under 18, this is probably the BEST thing you can do. If you are over 18, bring them still, they may have fun too.

    Q)do you have to show your ID at anytime if you aren't buying liquor? (other than the hotel checkin)
    A) No.

    Q) What is the fed to hacker ratio?
    A) Who said Fed's aren't hackers?

    Q) what is the paranoia level at defcon?
    A) Depends on who you talk to... Some are extremely paranoid at Defcon, and wear their tin foil hats around all day. Others are free and open about everything.

    Q) should I jump into the pool? should i enter the pool after the first day at defcon?
    A) After the first day of Defcon, going into the pool is not recommended. However, if someone gives you the options of jumping in the pool or being thrown in - JUMP IN. Understand that Nine times out of Ten they are NOT kidding.

    Q) what is a goon? what do they do? why are they telling me to move out of the way?
    A) Goons are the Jack Booted Thugs of Defcon. They provide security (and do it quite well) and run the different aspects of Defcon. If the Goons are telling you to move out of the way, DO IT. You are probably blocking something important (Like a manner of egress).

    Q) How do i spot the fed? who do i tell?
    A) If you believe someone is a Fed, tell Priest. Then the alleged fed will be approach and asked a serious of questions to find out if he is indeed one of big brothers children. If he turns out to be a fed, you and he both get a shirt after he gets some razzing. If he isn't, you just look like a looser and people mock you.

    Q) What happens if I am caught doing something dumb, plain stupid, illegal? Do you call the cops?
    A) It depends on what you did and how serious the infraction was. If you do something really bad, be prepared to spend a night with Bubba.

    Q) Are there rent-a-cops at defcon? Are they smart?
    A) The Alexis Park does have it's own security force that is present at Defcon. Some are smart, some aren't, but they all have the power to ruin your time there - so be nice.

    Q) Can I touch the girls walking around? where do they come from?
    A) No, you can't touch the girls until you get some social skills.
    If you do, they will hurt you.

    Q) Why is priest so big? He scares me.
    A) Priest is big because he eats script kiddies for break fast and washes them down with the blood of virgins(most of you). Priest is Bear. I give you this one and only rule in dealing with Priest... DO NOT POKE THE BEAR!

    Q)Should I leave my stuff laying around? Or will it be sniped the minute i tie my bootlaces?
    A) Never leave you stuff laying around unless you want it stolen. If you are staying at the AP leave most of your stuff in your room. If you're not staying at the AP, find someone you trust who is and leave it there. If you turn your back on your stuff for 10 Seconds it will most likely be gone when you turn around.

    Q) Should i consider wearing anything other than black AND not be continuously fingered as a fed?
    A) No. Apparently if you wear Kahkis and a Banline shirt all the time people think you are a fed.

    Q) Why is the pool purple? Why is the pool bubbly? Why are there naked people in the pool? should I join them? Are those whales?
    A) The pool is purple because purple is a cool color. The pool is bubbly because it's filled with champaign (Go drink some). Do not join them... Yes, those are Whales.

    Q) I don't go out in the sun much, should I bring sun lotion?
    A) Yes, bring the highest SPF you can find. If you forget it you might burst into flames like a vampire.

    Q) What is hacker jeopardy? who is Winn? who is VV and BB?
    A) Imagination

    Q) Why do people drink at defcon?
    A) People drink at defcon because they like to unwined and have fun with their friends.

    Q) Will there ever be another strippercon?
    A) You won't be invited, so don't worry about it.

    Q) Will I get laid at defcon?
    A) No.

    Q) Should I bring anything "special" to defcon?
    A) Don't bring anything you don't need. Don't bring drugs. If you are caught with drugs you will be staying with LVPD for the remainder of your trip.

    Q) Should I bring my guns to defcon?
    A) If you are going to the DefconShoot, then bring your guns. If not, there is no reason to have it.

    Q) Should I bring my WaReZ to defcon?
    A) No.

    Q) Should I bring my computer to defcon? I don't have a laptop just a big beast that needs wheels.
    A) Sure. But be warned, it might get damaged. Instead of bringing the computer, why not try socializing and leave the other 362 days a year for the computer.

    Q) What is a NOC? Why can't I go in there?
    A) The NOC (Network Operation Center) is where the behind the scenes of Defcon takes place. You can't go there because you are not cool enough. If a Goon ask you to go there, and you know you are not cool, RUN! Chances are Priest is hungry and needs another script kiddie to snack on or virgin blood to drink.

    Q) What is FRS?
    A) Family Radio Service []

    Q) Why should I be careful when walking near the pools?
    A) Because you may get pushed into the pool. If someone asks you to remove your tech - DO IT! Anything that would get ruined if it went into the pool should be taken off. This is a courtesy people may pay to you. If you don't remove it and attempt to argue with them instead, you will probably go in the pool WITH your tech on. Remember, there are probably a few people lurking around to push you in... More of them then you and your kung-fu ain't that good.

    Q) Should I let a bunch of people stay in my room that I have never met and probably will never see again? Can I really trust them?
    A) No. Best Case they will be cool (RARE!) Medium Case: They will probably steal stuff from you (Laptop, Wallet). Worst case They will steal stuff from you (Virginity)...

    Q) Are there sufficient outlets and network jacks for everyone?
    A) There is never enough for EVERYONE, no matter how hard you try. But if your lucky you will get what you need (not always what you want).

    Q) Can I get internet at defcon? Is there wireless access at defcon? who should i not connect to, and what should I be connecting to?
    A) Use Internet at Defcon at your own risk. You will be sniffed. You have been warned.

    Q) Can i take pictures/video footage at defcon?
    A) Sure. But becareful when you take pictures of random people. Often they get very upset about that and you may lose your Camera.

    Q) Who do i tell if i see something bad going on?
    A) Tell a Goon.

    Q) What is closing ceremonies? Why should I stay and watch it?
    A) The Closing Ceremonies are the Climax to Defcon. It's where prizes are awarded to winners of contests as well as The DarkTangent giving a wrap of of the event and an outlook onto the future of it.

    Q) How should I set up my schedule for the ultimate defcon trip?
    A) This is very subjective. If depends on what you want to do exactly. The best pieces of advice is this: Mingle. Don't sit behind your computer all day. Get out, talk with old friends and meet new ones. You can sit behind your computer at home. But it's not often you get to see all these people in one place.

    Q) Why does no one seem to sleep at defcon?
    A) Sleep is for the weak. People want to make the most of their Defcon Experience and savor every moment, since it only comes around once a year.

    Q) Do we have to listen to the security guards telling us to get out of the pool at 4 am in the morning?
    A) Yes. Just remember, 4am is getting close to Breakfast time for Priest.

    Q) What is a sharpie?
    A) A sharpie is a type of writing instrument that people use to "Tag" others who inadvertently pass out.

    Q) What is the Defcon Scavenger hunt?
    A) The DefCon Scavenger Hunt is a competition held every year at DefCon to see who can 'hack' their way to get the most odd items within 3 days. Simply put, it's a Scavenger Hunt DefCon style. Not only does it involve getting a hold of the most unique items such as a cow's head, candles shaped like penises, or even uranium (tested on site), but it also involves completing tasks making your stay at DefCon all that much more fun (our's also).

    Q) What is a SW (scenewhore)?
    A) One who pretends to be interested in the same topics as everyone else just to be included in a group.

    Q) There are so many talks, which should I choose?
    A) Which everyones interest you the most. Remember you can always get the ones you missed later on.

    Q) How can I contribute to defcon?
    A) By being an ACTIVE Participant.

    Q) I want to be someone's bitch, who do I ask?
    A) I believe Siviak is running a Lackey Registry

    Q) Why is no one talking to me?
    A) Because you need better social skills, or you smell bad.

    Q) Where do a lot of people go at night?
    A) Parties, Clubs, Bars.

    Q) Where do I get food other than the AP?
    A) Take a walk, there are a number of nice food establishments around the area as well as supermarkets.

    Q) Why do I keep getting lost with the conference room names?
    A) Because of all those drugs you did in High School.

    Q) What time can I pick up my badge?
    A) As soon as Registration Opens. Hours will be announced 2 weeks prior to the start of the show.

    Q) Do you take checks, cheques, credit cards, paypal, promises?

    Q) Should i bring food to eat at defcon?
    A) Yes. Go to the supermarket, it's cheaper.

    Q) Around how much ($$$) should I bring if I want to have a decent time at defcon?
    A) Spending Money (not including room): Should be $80 for the badge. money for food, alcohol and Swag You can squeeze by with $200. Less if you budget really well.

    Q) what do all the different badges mean ?
    A) The Different Badges are you different Standing in the Defcon Hierarchy. Goons, Press, Humans...

    Q) Can i walk around defcon with my gun on my crossdraw vest?
    A) No.

    Q) Can i shoot things at random as long as they aren't people?
    A) No. Unless you enjoy A) Going to jail or B) Getting Shot.

    Q) What if i am too fat to skydive, should I still try? what if I am afraid of heights?
    A) If you are too fat to skydive you should just watch from the ground. Even if you don't value your own life, value the lives of the people you may hit.

    Q) should I color my hair especially for defcon?
    A) Blue, color it Blue.

    Q) Why is the media in defcon? why are they asking me quesetions? should i tell them about all my WaReZ and my 'sploitz and 0dayz?
    A) The Media is at Defcon because the media likes to know what is going on too. If you want to look like a loser and be laugh at by everyone you know then go to the media all your secrets.

    Q) What is CTF?
    A) Capture the Flag

    Q) Do we have a prayer service on Sunday morning?
    A) Only if you're a member of the church of wifi

    Q) Should I bring my own water/beer/liquor?
    A) Yes, or you can walk down the block and by some from the Liquor Store/Super Market.

    Q) Should i walk around with knives, stun guns?
    A) Not unless you want to be a play thing for the goons.

    Q) Should I walk around with a pimproll of money?
    A) If you don't mind it getting taken

    Q) Should I use the ATM at the AP?
    A) No.

    Q) Is there another ATM nearby?
    A) Yes, down the block.

    Q) How long do I have to wait at the damned checkin line? Why are people cutting in front of me?
    A) You have to wait as long as it takes. People are cutting in front of you because they are cooler then you and this is not their first year coming.

    Q) Someone just pushed me on the ground, what should I do?
    A) Pray that they will not kick you while you are down.

    Q) I like talking like a gangster but look more like a fool, will I be made fun of?
    A) Yes. And then they will push you on the ground and kick you.

    Q) Where are all the bathrooms located at defcon?
    A) Ask the front desk for a Map.

    Q) How stupid do I have to get before I get my ass canned from defcon for life? Will they really remember me the next year?
    A) If you get caught doing something you know is wrong/illegal then you are stupid enough. Yes, they will remember you and your picture will go in a national database for Facial Recognition.

    Q) I saw a piece of paper that says to do bad things at defcon... should i do them?
    A) No. Unless you enjoy being a Goon's Bitch.

    Q) Why is there no pr0n at defcon, i h4x0red the TV and no pr0n flicks!
    A) Look out your window, there will probably be some pr0n esc action going on.

    Q) What is bawls?
    A) Bawls is an energy drink ( that taste good in your mouth.

    Q) What is redbull?
    A) Redbull is any energy drink, best surved with alcohol (if you're 21 or over)

    Q) Should I give people my boots if they ask for them and I never met them in my life?
    A) Only if you never want to see your boots again.

    Q) Why are there so many cool people at defcon, yet i feel uncool?
    A) Because you are uncool.

    Q) How many pieces of clothing should I bring to defcon?
    A) Four

    Q) Is las vegas hot in the summer?
    A) Like a Jalepaneo Pepper

    Q) Is defcon indoors or outdoors?
    A) Both

    Q) Why is everyone wearing black?
    A) So they can blend it

    Q) Why don't the girls seem to like the boys ?
    A) Because most of the boys are uncool.

    Q) Why do the boys seem to like the boys?
    A) Because Hizzle is the devil.

    A) how do I reserve my room at the AP a year in advance?
    B) For best Results call the AP.

    Q) what do I get for 80$USD?
    A) Access to the Event

    Q) Do i have to know linux at defcon?
    A) No. And even if you do, you will still probably be uncool

    Q) where can i get video footage of defcon, I want to see if I can see myself?

    If you have any spelling errors or typo questions you can kiss me pale irish ass.
    Last edited by Guest; March 15, 2004, 10:43.

  • #2
    Originally posted by highwizard

    Q) What is hacker jeopardy? who is Winn? who is VV and BB?

    Is there a reason you didn't answer this one? Leaving it to our imagination? :p


    • #3
      Very extensive, impressive, and funny at times :). Lets hope people take the time to read it.
      The penguin is watching.
      "The DefCon forums dont reward knowledge, but punish iggnorance." -Noid


      • #4
        Hmmm, Blossom WOULD make a good Betty!


        • #5
          Forgot one though:

          Q) What's the best way to get punched in the throat at DefCon?
          A) If your name is Grifter, add 'Get a picture of Chris with his arm around you' to the scavenger hunt list again.
          perl -e 'print pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'


          • #6
            Originally posted by highwizard

            Q) Why do the boys seem to like the boys?
            A) Because Hizzle is the devil.

            If you have any spelling errors or typo questions you can kiss me pale irish ass.
            Hizzle, the devil? I think that might be an understatement. :D

            Your Irish?
            "It is difficult not to wonder whether that combination of elements which produces a machine for labor does not create also a soul of sorts, a dull resentful metallic will, which can rebel at times". Pearl S. Buck


            • #7
              Originally posted by astcell
              Hmmm, Blossom WOULD make a good Betty!
              Nah, I'm not willing to show enough skin! :p I'll do it if I can wear the Vanna gowns! But, that's another game!


              • #8
                If someone can answer these it would help too:

                How long does it take to get a cab to the airport?
                Why do the air conditoner units suck in the hotel?
                What is the Wall of Shame?
                Why is it $80 this year?
                What's the best way to not look like an asshat or a fucktard?
                Is that big hairy guy in the vendor room corner really selling a MiG ejection seat?
                You say being an ACTIVE participant is the best to to enjoy Defcon, what should I be active in if this is my first time?


                • #9
                  Originally posted by highwizard
                  A little over a year ago, Grifter made a posting Refering to the Defcon Bible/FAQ. While searching the forums, I stumbled across it and since I hadn't heard anything about it since, I decided to answer some of the questions.

                  Haha, it'f funny because I actually just pulled all of those questions out and started answering them as well. Oh well, you beat me to it.
                  .: Grifter :.


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by highwizard
                    Q) Do we have a prayer service on Sunday morning?
                    A) Only if you're a member of the church of wifi
                    Service is held at 7am on Sunday morning before passing out. Prayer service format generally consists of drunken members sitting in the outline of a pentagram while aiming our yagis straight up into the air and starting up random packet generators
                    if it gets me nowhere, I'll go there proud; and I'm gonna go there free.


                    • #11
                      Those who worship the porcelain god are invited to a mass baptismal at pool #2.


                      • #12
                        Excellent q/a, this should be a sticky.

                        Aut disce aut discede


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by astcell
                          Those who worship the porcelain god are invited to a mass baptismal at pool #2.
                          No, pool #3. That way the lesson stays learned.


                          • #14
                            Oh that's right. Pool #2 is where the chixxx go topless. Pool #3 is where the sperm donors make up for lost time.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by astcell
                              Oh that's right. Pool #2 is where the chixxx go topless. Pool #3 is where the sperm donors make up for lost time.
                              Avoiding ALL of the pools is a good idea in my book.. I would love to look at some of the water under a microscope after poolcon to see what all nasties are in it..
                              Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.