Should we have a wake or memorial during Con

[ndex]

There's been some casual discussion on irc about having a memorial for the members of the community we've lost in the past year.

Since Con is a time when we're all in the same place for a few days it presents a unique opportunity for us to celebrate the lives of folks who we otherwise would not have been able to mourn as a community. This suggestion comes as we face a fresh loss but I wouldn't want to limit it to just one friend or to just this last year.

This poll is to gauge the response to this idea. If enough people want to do it, there's plenty of time to organize something for DC13. It could be informal, we could put up a picture board for folks to leave messages or more formal, setting a time to gather to raise a glass and give folks a chance to share their stories.

[vudu]

I figure DT will have a moment of silence during opening or closing but besides that I would guess that everything else would be informal.

-- Steve "vudu" Tauber

[noid]

I'd say no. Just like I did with Ghent. Lets not let this turn into a fucking spectical. Those who knew him, will mourn him in their own ways.

[nous]

not so much

i don't think it's appropriate to have some sort of announcement or big deal or even informal gathering at defcon. the people who have lost people will remember their people in ways their people would want to be remembered.

speaking of pac-bell, i'm sure he wouldn't want us to have a big boo-hoo fest at defcon. he'd want us to get wrecked and stumble around and make wild toasts in too-loud voices... we'll exchange stories and celebrate him in our own ways. it wouldn't be right to expose a whole lot of people who didn't know him to a big downer at con.

[Grifter]

I'm against this, for the reasons that noid and nous stated above.

[astcell]

I would not want anyone mourning over me, no minute of silence, no silent prayer. I don't want you toasting with habanero rum either. I agree, we each have our own way to mourn. What will I take out of it? I won't wait until someone dies to tell them what I think of them.

[ndex]

Looks like more people online at time this was originally brought up were in favor than are now.

I've lost several family members as well as friends in the last two of years. Since I come from a pretty heretical background I guess I miscommunicated my intention. Because my life was made better for knowing someone, I want the opportunity to give thanks for having them come into my life at all. The world is full of crapheads who waste oxygen and I don't want my time to come without having given thanks for the people I would have taken the time to resuscitate.

Ghent made me think. Josh made me smile. Most people don't do either.

The main reason this idea arose was out of a desire to be able to have a wake (get drunk and share stories that might not be appropriate for some folks families to hear) for all the folks who won't be joining us this summer or ever again. It was also increasingly clear that there were people who knew (in a DC sense) people who they weren't close enough to show up at a private funeral but who wanted to share their expressions of loss.

In retrospect, I agree with noid, everyone has their own way and mine is not the least bit orthodox. I hope we'll take a moment to realize how truly fortunate we've been to know some of these people and celebrate the lives that were taken from us too soon.

[SimonDesaint]

Memorials should be just that.

a memorial should be just that.. to think of that person or what he/she meant to the community. It shouldn't occur in the middle of festivities, debauchery, or conventions.

[ndex]

a memorial should be just that.. to think of that person or what he/she meant to the community. It shouldn't occur in the middle of festivities, debauchery, or conventions.

This is why the question asked is 'memorial or wake'. Memorials are generally somber events, but wakes are not. The poll askes yes or no, and most folks have indicated they don't want to have a specific event.

[erehwon]

Honestly, I know a number of us will be raising a glass at Friday's 2600 to Josh, but a memorial or wake is a little too much at Defcon. I agree with Nous, I think Josh would want us to all to get properly sloshed and remember all the good times we've had with him.

I appreciate what Blackbettle has been doing every time someone in our giant extended family has passed on way before their time and posted a note in the corner of the Defcon.org site. Maybe a page like what the ham operator community does when a member passes away, a "silent key" page?