Spot the Fed

[erehwon]

a good fed is one that cannot be spotted.

mind you, I'd be paranoid of anyone you don't know who approaches you...
another comical idea would be to walk around and nudge people saying "I know who you're really working for."

You really are from Canada if you think you could nudge/fondle an UC looking for their service weapon.

I can see an instant elbow to the nose, followed by kick behind the kneecap, and you falling to the ground in pain, with 200lbs of Dick Tracy in tow.

If you're lucky, its just you with the UC's knee in your back while he handcuffs you, or if you scored a gaggle of feds, one is resting his knee on your neck and the other two are flipping coins on who gets to Taser you first.

Nudging Feds, not a good idea...

[klepto]

Feds are overrated, honestly.

[hackajar]

Feds are overrated, honestly.

Regardless if this is true or not, they have power to bust your ass (more then citizens arrest) for almost nothing (see patriot act), so that cancels out being "overrated" either way.

[-0o-]

You really are from Canada if you think you could nudge/fondle an UC looking for their service weapon.

I can see an instant elbow to the nose, followed by kick behind the kneecap, and you falling to the ground in pain, with 200lbs of Dick Tracy in tow.

If you're lucky, its just you with the UC's knee in your back while he handcuffs you, or if you scored a gaggle of feds, one is resting his knee on your neck and the other two are flipping coins on who gets to Taser you first.

Nudging Feds, not a good idea...

I can see me generating some income from all this action.

Let the dick tracey kneedrops begin.

[TheCotMan]

As requested by tacitus, I've converted the list of questions into a form that can compute scores for you.
I know my long posts bug people, so...
Just the Observational Checklist
Just the Questions for the potential Fed when you interrogate them or check to see if you are a fed. ;-)
Observation checklist and Questions
All forms, all sections turned on, lots of text to read You like my long posts? Choose this one.

[Thorn]

I can see me generating some income from all this action.

Let the dick tracey kneedrops begin.

If you're thinking lawsuit for some BS like "false arrest" you may want to reconsider your motives and your actions. Most juridictions would consider the "fondle" or "nudge" as a Simple Assault on an Officer. Due to the stated intent to locate weapons, it might possibly elevate to an Aggrevated Assault. Either potential charge would fully justify the arrest, and any reasonable force needed to restrain you.

Most officers I know would tell you to back off. Once. After that, you end up wearing the pretty bracelets and have a knee impression in your back.

[Zhym]

There ought to be a scoring heirarchy for Spot The Fed:

Miltary: 0 points
Law Enforcement (incl. FBI): 1 point
NSA: 5 points

Military shouldn't even count anymore. It doesn't take a genius to spot a muscled guy in a short sleeve dress shirt and crew cut as a possible fed.

Now, picking out the black-clad, long-haired, bearded NSA dude out of all the other black-clad, long-haired hacker dudes: that's skill.

[-0o-]

If you're thinking lawsuit for some BS like "false arrest" you may want to reconsider your motives and your actions. Most juridictions would consider the "fondle" or "nudge" as a Simple Assault on an Officer. Due to the stated intent to locate weapons, it might possibly elevate to an Aggrevated Assault. Either potential charge would fully justify the arrest, and any reasonable force needed to restrain you.

Most officers I know would tell you to back off. Once. After that, you end up wearing the pretty bracelets and have a knee impression in your back.

for real.

if someone came up and nudged me stating they know who I really work for, I'd be piping someones car and forward bound, onward mexico!

[hackajar]

if someone came up and nudged me stating they know who I really work for, I'd be piping someones car and forward bound, onward mexico!

Something tells me "it a good thing that this guy doesn't have funds to make it to DefCon", I can't put my finger on it though. But something.

[Siviak]

Something tells me "it a good thing that this guy doesn't have funds to make it to DefCon", I can't put my finger on it though. But something.

bullshit! if this guy makes it to Vegas he has full diplomatic imunity as a Siviakistani Ambassador.

[bascule]

I define feds as people legally authorized to crack some hippie skulls

[TheCotMan]

I define feds as people legally authorized to crack some hippie skulls

Hmmm. In considering that as part of a question asked of a potential Fed, would they really say, "yes," to that question? ;-)

Oh! If they say, "yes," then they are probably pretending to be a fed, trying to get a free teeshirt.

Ok. Question added. -5 for yes, and +0 for no.

[astcell]

Of course in the middle of a talk you can always shout "GUN!" and the feds will pop up then drop down as a reflex.

[TheCotMan]

Of course in the middle of a talk you can always shout "GUN!" and the feds will pop up then drop down as a reflex.

Let's see how many times Priest uses that one this year. He really needs some new material.

[Scene missing]
[Cot returns stammering, somewhat freightened]

Um. Starting over. Does that work on crypto guys from the NSA, or the computer system forensic scientists, or the research people from the CIA? It might work on SS, FBI field workers, and the heavy boot, agent Smith style feds.

[astcell]

Does that work on crypto guys from the NSA, or the computer system forensic scientists, or the research people from the CIA?

Reminds me of the accountant in The Untouchables movie. Little squirley guy, 98 lbs soaking wet. How to spot them, hmmmm....