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How would one become a Goon?

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  • How would one become a Goon?

    Is their certain qualifications that are needed to become a Goon? How do you get in, or who would I talk to?.

  • #2
    .......god
    ~:CK:~
    I would like to meet a 1 to keep my 0 company.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by klarencio
      Is their certain qualifications that are needed to become a Goon? How do you get in, or who would I talk to?.
      First, there are different kinds of goons. Here is how I see it:

      There are what I'd call "core goons" that do very specialized things or organize specific parts of DefCon other goons/volunteers. There are security goons (often found in red shirts, but not all with red shirts are security goons) and then there are presentation/speaker goons (did they wear blue shirts?)

      From what I see, there has to be a need, and many of the people I see as goons seem to have been to DefCon more than once or knew a core organizer and after having met in person for a while, ends up getting roped into volunteer service.

      You do not need to be a goon to volunteer.
      Last edited by TheCotMan; August 9, 2005, 10:37. Reason: spelling

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      • #4
        Originally posted by klarencio
        Is their certain qualifications that are needed to become a Goon? How do you get in, or who would I talk to?.
        The first step is to indenture yourself to a goon as an intern/monkey butler. This duty will require you to fetch things (booze/ice/swag/etc.), read technical manuals & translate them so drunk people can understand, taste test new homebrew and other duties issued forth by your goon handler.

        After, years of service and depending on your performance, you may be raised to the rank of goon. But, this all depends on how the "goon council" votes and if you can survive the initiation process.

        Then again, I'm not quite sure how I became a goon and I may have said to much already.
        “If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun.” - Dalai Lama (Seattle Times, 05-15-2001).

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        • #5
          Originally posted by klarencio
          Is their certain qualifications that are needed to become a Goon? How do you get in, or who would I talk to?.

          Blow Jobs.. The only way to become a goon is by giving people blow jobs.

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          • #6
            Your local armed forces recruiting office can help. Ask the man behind the desk for information on gooning and he'll open up a wide range of possibilities to you.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by highwizard
              Blow Jobs.. The only way to become a goon is by giving people blow jobs.
              You are not supposed to tell people the REAL way to become a goon-- that is supposed to stay a secret. The next thing you know, everyone will be trying to fast-track their way to becoming a goon.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by highwizard
                Blow Jobs.. The only way to become a goon is by giving people blow jobs.
                /Reminder to self : Get a Queer Consulate Immunity card, BEFORE even contemplating becoming a goon.

                Dutch
                All your answers are belong to Google. Search dammit!!!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by TheCotMan
                  First, there are different kinds of goons. Here is how I see it:

                  There are what I'd call "core goons" that do very specialized things or organize specific parts of DefCon other goons/volunteers. There are security goons (often found in red shirts, but not all with red shirts are security goons) and then there are presentation/speaker goons (did they wear blue shirts?)

                  From what I see, there has to be a need, and many of the people I see as goons seem to have been to DefCon more than once or knew a core organizer and after having met in person for a while, ends up getting roped into volunteer service.

                  You do not need to be a goon to volunteer.

                  I was looking to become a security goon, I have a backround in security I be really good at it. I went to this years DC and instead of attending I'd like to be part of the security team. Anywayz. Oh and about the Blow Job thing, I was hoping somebody would'nt say that.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by klarencio
                    I have a backround in security I be really good at it.

                    I'll bite...

                    What's your background in Security?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by highwizard
                      I'll bite...

                      What's your background in Security?
                      He read a book one time...
                      "\x74\x68\x65\x70\x72\x65\x7a\x39\x38";

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by theprez98
                        He read a book one time...
                        It is possible that he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express during the con.
                        In a world without walls and fences, who needs Windows and Gates?

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                        • #13
                          Maybe he worked security at the AP.

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                          • #14
                            Don't f**k with me dude

                            I've worked security for a Casino for about 5 yrs, I call it customer safety, anywayz, I was a Detention Officer for about 3 yrs., and now a compliance officer in the gaming industry. I still stay close to my contacts at the P.D. I don't know if this would qualify me but I was just asking.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by klarencio
                              I've worked security for a Casino for about 5 yrs, I call it customer safety, anywayz, I was a Detention Officer for about 3 yrs., and now a compliance officer in the gaming industry. I still stay close to my contacts at the P.D. I don't know if this would qualify me but I was just asking.
                              do you live here in town or something?
                              "Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups"

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