View Full Version : Monkey butlers
skroo
10-31-2004, 06:41 PM
Defcon needs monkey butlers. Specifically, monkey butlers trained to fetch and deliver booze when supplies run low. This would be the best thing evar, and should be implemented post-haste.
allentrace
10-31-2004, 07:35 PM
Defcon needs monkey butlers. Specifically, monkey butlers trained to fetch and deliver booze when supplies run low. This would be the best thing evar, and should be implemented post-haste.
I agree but haved two questions.
1) Would I have to tip?
2) Is this plan PETA approved? I would hate to be sued for demeaning an animal's nature.
astcell
10-31-2004, 07:39 PM
I got it! Remember in Karate Kid where the teacher made the kid paint his fence, wax the car, and dozens of other chores in turn for learning karate?
We can do that. Anyone who wants to be l33t and learn to hack will need to be the Monkley Butler for the entire con. Anyone who does that for the duration will earn an AOL CD from me the next year. We need to implement this for the asshats and fucktards. Heaven knows we have enough of them, we need to put them to good use!
How many monkey butlers will there be?
Xodia
10-31-2004, 08:06 PM
How many monkey butlers will there be?
Two per goon (one for the Rickshaw, the other to fetch alcohol) with the slackers set aside for abuse by forum members.
AlxRogan
10-31-2004, 08:07 PM
One at first, but they will train others.
astcell
10-31-2004, 08:49 PM
What are the qualifications for Monkey Butler?
Mr.White
10-31-2004, 08:50 PM
Mojo? What have they done to you?
pray
for
mojo
Two per goon (one for the Rickshaw, the other to fetch alcohol) with the slackers set aside for abuse by forum members.
What makes you think some of them won't BE forum members??
I claim Twinvega and CK3k as my monkey butlers. While they are neither asshats or fucktards, (or butlers, as far as I know!) I think they would make swell monkey labor. They take my abuse well knowing they will be richly rewarded in the afterlife (or at the forum meet, where I keep homebrew with their names on it). Especially since I have finally trained them on what a decent beer tastes like..
Personal whipping boys will be announced later.
This "running out of booze" thing, is that something that happens to you often?
I suggest you pay close attention to the boards prior to con when various individuals put together caravans and supply runs to Sams club and the base exchange, usually on Weds/Thurs. While only some resemble monkeys they cannot be held responsible if *you* fail to secure sufficient libation for yourself.
Xodia
11-01-2004, 02:12 PM
What makes you think some of them won't BE forum members??
In that case, Abel is getting a lesson in butlery.
skroo
11-01-2004, 02:28 PM
This "running out of booze" thing, is that something that happens to you often?
No, because I have monkey butlers to fetch more.
Clp727
11-01-2004, 03:07 PM
I got it! Remember in Karate Kid where the teacher made the kid paint his fence, wax the car, and dozens of other chores in turn for learning karate?
We can do that. Anyone who wants to be l33t and learn to hack will need to be the Monkley Butler for the entire con. Anyone who does that for the duration will earn an AOL CD from me the next year. We need to implement this for the asshats and fucktards. Heaven knows we have enough of them, we need to put them to good use!
I'll volunteer!!! I wish learning this stuff was that easy. Wait a minute...does it mean I have to ditch AOL?
I'll volunteer!!! I wish learning this stuff was that easy. Wait a minute...does it mean I have to ditch AOL?
You *can't* ditch AOL, that would be ditching "the internet"- Like in the ads....
LosT
alklloyd
11-01-2004, 04:31 PM
I dunno, Skroo...You know where that whole monkey butler stuff leads...
"You maniacs! You blew it all up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!"
Al
skroo
11-01-2004, 05:05 PM
"You maniacs! You blew it all up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!"
As long as I can get Linda Harrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0365709/) in a leather loincloth and a martini out of it, I'm fine with the idea :)
Gormless
11-01-2004, 06:15 PM
Question... Will the monkeys have some attire? (Like a black and white suit.) As always said, “The first impression is a lasting impression.”
Gormless
skroo
11-01-2004, 06:21 PM
Question... Will the monkeys have some attire? (Like a black and white suit.)
Tuxedos, roller skates, and Uncle Sam top hats. They will also be smoking cigars.
Gormless
11-01-2004, 06:50 PM
Tuxedos, roller skates, and Uncle Sam top hats. They will also be smoking cigars.
HMMMMM sounds very good. I'm In.
Gormless
alklloyd
11-01-2004, 08:46 PM
As long as I can get Linda Harrison (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0365709/) in a leather loincloth and a martini out of it, I'm fine with the idea :)
You know, even from that brief look at her in the remake <cough>, she still looked good.
The only good thing about that pos was Tim Roth and Heston's cameo.
Al
night_flux
11-02-2004, 01:01 AM
At the end of con, could there be a mokey knife fight? That would be swell.
"Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face?"
allentrace
11-02-2004, 10:59 AM
At the end of con, could there be a mokey knife fight? That would be swell.
"Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face?"
Kinda like when Stewie ordered the two butlers to fight to the death in Family Guy.
At the end of con, could there be a mokey knife fight? That would be swell.
"Furious George! What have they done to your beautiful face?"
It would probably be easier to get midget wrestling..
lil_freak
11-03-2004, 01:31 PM
It would probably be easier to get midget wrestling..
Um, I don't think that would be a good idea. Besides would you want to See This??? (http://mikesundance.com/midgets.htm)
Um, I don't think that would be a good idea. Besides would you want to See This??? (http://mikesundance.com/midgets.htm)
That would rule!! We could have Bridget the Midget as a ring girl!
I remember the days when there would be at least one midget battle royal a week on TV... damn political correctness! :evil:
Floydr47
11-05-2004, 08:31 AM
That would rule!! We could have Bridget the Midget as a ring girl!
I remember the days when there would be at least one midget battle royal a week on TV... damn political correctness! :evil:
I think they prefer to be refered to as vertically challenged...or is it something else this week...?
:evil:
pr0zac0x2a
11-05-2004, 03:40 PM
At exactly what point is someone a midget? My girlfriend is 4'11" or 5'0" at the most and keeps worrying that she might be a midget. Wonder if she can get extra financial aid for that.
-zac
allentrace
11-06-2004, 09:12 PM
At exactly what point is someone a midget? My girlfriend is 4'11" or 5'0" at the most and keeps worrying that she might be a midget. Wonder if she can get extra financial aid for that.
-zac
Under Five feet and over a certain age constitutes availability for federal aid. And they are not midgets they are "little people."
skroo
11-06-2004, 10:18 PM
And they are not midgets they are "little people."
MC Peepants says it's 4 da shorteez.
TwinVega
11-07-2004, 07:20 PM
Maybe it's just me, but haven't we already covered the monkey butler scene with lackeys?
Xakep
11-10-2004, 12:46 PM
I think that each DefCon woman needs her own monkey butler, and at night, we should train them to be ninja monkey butlers, and we will compete them against each other. And the woman will the best control over her monkey (this sounds so wrong already) wins.
Or maybe I'll just use mine to keep me well supplied with alcohol.
Maybe it's just me, but haven't we already covered the monkey butler scene with lackeys?
Lackeys don't have near the class as do monkey butlers.
What size tophat do you wear?
erehwon
11-12-2004, 08:48 PM
That would rule!! We could have Bridget the Midget as a ring girl!
I remember the days when there would be at least one midget battle royal a week on TV... damn political correctness! :evil:
Y'know, I could probably get Bridget the Midget in for StripperCon. :biggrin:
Y'know, I could probably get Bridget the Midget in for StripperCon. :biggrin:
Sweet... my life will not be complete until I have a pic with her...
alklloyd
11-16-2004, 10:47 PM
Sweet... my life will not be complete until I have a pic with her...
"Microslut"?
Che, you're sick...
And I like that in a DC person.
Al
Be_Th3_Penguin
05-17-2005, 04:05 PM
dude, we need to get the smartest one in the world and teach it to find me warez... i would love that monkey. :tongue:
TheCotMan
05-17-2005, 05:14 PM
i would love that monkey. :tongue:
Monkey love? Hmmm. And what would happen to the bad monkey butlers?
Xodia
05-17-2005, 06:06 PM
What in the bloody hell is causing people to resurrect long dead posts today?
Someone must have posted a link to the forums somewhere else.
Impossible to walk in this muck.
highwizard
05-18-2005, 12:31 AM
What's worse is when you have forum regulars (read: cotman) who reply to their resurrection of an old thread like nothing is wrong.... I my opinion that makes them just as bad when they egg the little tards on.
TheCotMan
05-18-2005, 01:32 AM
What's worse is when you have forum regulars (read: cotman) who reply to their resurrection of an old thread like nothing is wrong.... I my opinion that makes them just as bad when they egg the little tards on.
Bungholio! I suggested the user has a fettish for monkey love, and then asked what we do to bad monkeys, and an expectation that they would reply "spank them" and make this even better, but *no* my plan is foiled.
[Then it would be easy to say bad monkeys re-open dead threads and contemplate monkey love.]
But just for HighWiz, next time, I will be more verbose. ]:>
Voltage Spike
05-18-2005, 10:56 AM
What's worse is when you have forum regulars (read: cotman) who reply to their resurrection of an old thread like nothing is wrong....
Since this has come up a few times in the past few days, what is the proper etiquette for responding to old posts? According to The Rules, we shouldn't be starting new threads about old topics, but on some, but not all occassions, posting to old threads is condemned. My impression over the past few years has been that there is a soft time limit (about three months) during which topics expire and warrant a new thread, but it would nice if it were official.
Of course, my question has nothing to do with this thread because the resuscitator contributed nothing new to the topic.
PS: Why has the administrator disabled the ability to delete your own posts? Wouldn't that help with removing some of the garbage?
highwizard
05-18-2005, 11:23 AM
Since this has come up a few times in the past few days, what is the proper etiquette for responding to old posts? According to The Rules, we shouldn't be starting new threads about old topics, but on some, but not all occassions, posting to old threads is condemned. My impression over the past few years has been that there is a soft time limit (about three months) during which topics expire and warrant a new thread, but it would nice if it were official.
The three month rule is what I generally stick to unless I have something valuable to add in a sticky (ie: ebooks). The other main exception to that is if a thread has been dead for a month but it was a thread that should have died (ie: the thread where someone who will remain nameless was giving it to the mormons on the board and it turns into mudslinging, the same with the womans meet thread from last year that totally degenerated).
[/quote]
Of course, my question has nothing to do with this thread because the resuscitator contributed nothing new to the topic.[/quote]
Ok
PS: Why has the administrator disabled the ability to delete your own posts? Wouldn't that help with removing some of the garbage?
I don't believe it would. People can edit their own posts for a certain amount of time but I'm against someones ability to delete them and I'll tell you why - There's no take backs, if you post something and you regret saying it later on, you should have thought about it more before you originally did it. I've done that myself before (insert foot in mouth) on this forum.
And that's one of the way's I judge how I will respond to someone. If they make a post that is really stupid I will usually go back and check what kind of post they made in the past to see where I place them in my mind, with the ability to delete threads I wouldn't be able to do this or use previous post as evidence.
Hope that helps.
Omg Threadlock!!!112!!@13@!!! Lol