Awesome Quotes from Blackhat/Defcon?

[not5150]

Anyone have any great one/two liners from Blackhat or Defcon? I'll start with one

ASTCELL in his military uniform to the Microsoft PR lady at the Palm's casino

Lady - Who do you work for?
ASTCELL - "You may find this hard to believe, but I work for the U.S. Army."

[hackajar]

"You mean I can't walk though the casino with a fake badge?"

[barkode]

<drs> Tell the concierge I need a large box of handlebar mustaches.

<some guy> (To Hotel Staff) Do you guys have somewhere I can plug in for internet? The wireless network here is kind of slow.
<me> you here for defcon?
<some guy> yeah.
<me> (quickly summing this guy up) You probably don't want to use the wireless network here.
<some guy> It's cool I have norton.

Couple FBI agents show up to Ninja Party (with invites). We were carding at the time.
<FBI> (flashing badges) Is this enough to get me in?
<TW> Sorry, I need to see some ID man.
<FBI> What you don't respect the FBI?
<TW> I respect the DOB. Let's see some ID fellas.

[TheCotMan]

Priest: "Now that brings a whole new meaning to 'Honeypot'"

(Hard to hear it, since people were laughing and talking. Corrections welcome)

(Hard to tell if he was saying honeypot or honey net-- This was stated when Priest heard the "spot the fed" where a woman admitted to drinking, and sleeping with a "fed" only to find he was a fed after going through his stuff while he was sleeping. It was directed at the woman and her actions to determine the fed was a fed.)

One of the best Defcon quotes in Spot the Fed-- Ever. -- Related to security, and Defcon on multiple levels. Metaphor, and symbolic references galore.

[DJ Jackalope]

Tourons at the bottom of the elevator when some of us got out:
"Look, hackers!"

[hackajar]

"Why do you hate freedom?" - Anonymous question t o possible Fed in "Spot the Fed" contests

Best answer given, "Because I love my job".

[EvilMoFo]

Best answer given, "Because I love my job".
i thought he said "because its my job" ... or maybe that was a different spot the fed

[hackajar]

It was something to that affect during hj

[shannon]

Dumbass 'Tahitian Villiage People" behind my back:

"Now, SHE dont look like no nerd!"

[Voltage Spike]

Darter 1: All these people are computer hackers.

Darter 2: Isn't that illegal?

[Chris]

Drunk dart guy:

<slurring> Stupid fuckin' hackers. Putting all these viruses on my computer and fucking things up. I hate you all </slurring>


Bruce Potter at the Ninja Paty:

Dammit, I am wearing this blouse and skirt and didn't have anywhere to put my wallet. Now I have to go all the way back to my room to get my ID.

[Abby_Normal]

As we were waiting for the elevator we overhead:
Postal dork: "I hear a criminal convetion is in the hotel"
Secuirty guard "Yep, 7000 of them"

As the elevator closed I said something about hoping they enjoyed the Asshole convention, don't know if they heard it.

[CP99]

Mein Fraulein challenge:

"Were like edison, we found 2000 ways this challenge doesn't work"

[Hardware]

Mein Fraulein challenge:

"Were like edison, we found 2000 ways this challenge doesn't work"

*takes credit for pointing that one out*

[pipes]

"We are all going to wake up on Monday with fucking lung cancer"
-- Jefe

[shannon]

"How do I get out of this Fucking Duct-Tape to show you my ID?!!"

[CP99]

Vyrus: "CP, how the hell can you get like this without drinking?"

[renderman]

<Security Guard>This is quickly turning into a cluster fuck (said at 9am on the first day)

[sammo]

<10:30am on Friday: coming out of dart beer room with two 24oz beers>
Me: <drinking>
Drunk dart guy: "Hey, that's our beer! You hackers can't drink it!"
Me: Hey, I paid the lady, she gave me the beer... there's no more left for you.
Lady behind bar: "Their money is good with me!"
Drunk dart guy: "Fuck!"

[hevnsnt]

Friday Morning: "Is Defcon cancelled?"

[mfreeck]

Regarding Calypso: She's past the legal limit for being concious.

Darter in elevator: Oh, that light is *still* out, you'd think they'd've fixed it or something...
Me: They are probably pretty busy right now.
Darter turning around: Oh, you! Yeah, they're all busy chasing 8,000 of you guys around. You guys are really tearing it up. I heard you guys down by the pool last night.

<security guard> We thought the pool [billiards] convention people were wild, but you guys are WAY beyond that.

[Abby_Normal]

<security guard> We thought the pool [billiards] convention people were wild, but you guys are WAY beyond that.

That's funny, the bell man told me were were tame next to the pool players.

[renderman]

Not a quote per se, but a really funny thing seen:

At the Penthouse Pirate party I went to the loo. In my inebriated state I saw what can only be described as a bathroom decorated by a woman. The wall behind the toilet was floor to ceiling mirror. As you can imagine, the view is something a guy would never design. I came out laughing and telling Deviant to go to the bathroom. About 5 seconds later he came out laughing and asking for a sharpie. He affixed a piece of clear plastic to the mirror behind the toilet at eye level and wrote:

"Objects in mirror may appear larger than they are.....Yeah Right"

I'll have a pic up soon.

[meee]

"meee...why do you need handcuffs and duct tape?"

[TheCotMan]

Thursday. I have my DC14 badge. (Thanks DT, Chris, OP, Mfreeck and Converge!) I am in the elevator with a family of 3. The 8 year old kid sees my badge:
(serious)"What's that?"
(coy)"This is my badge, which lets me into a security conference."
(Serious) "Oh yeah? I thought you guys might be here from treasure island."

Yarrrrrr! Tie-mmm doo wok deee plank der matey!
(Yarrr. Time to walk the plank there matey.)

[EricM]

Agent X to Noid just before Closing ceremonies.

"Hey I just got the talks to (I think he said Shmoo) Con on two hard drives in my pockets. So technically I've got a Con in my pants."

Heh.

[jur1st]

<i>in elevator</i>

random human: What's with all the blinky badges?
me: Its for the computer convention that's here this weekend.
random human: I see
me: Yup, there's free wireless internet at the pool if you need it.
random human: Great...I've been needing to check my email.

[Snowblind]

<Zanardi, to team Shellphish>:
"Guys, don't talk to the press about the drugs and booze we are bringing, the 'sex orgies' we will be having, or the government. ESPECIALLY not the government."
Sarcasm, of course.

[cereal76]

<security guard>"We found some guy in the lobby with his pants down."

[FLeiXiuS]

<Cab Driver> So your computer hackers eh?
<Cab Driver> Well maybe you could help me, see I have this cox thing it's not working! Damn hackers are hunking my cox.
<Cab Driver> Well I have eh a Norton, i think he's the one blocking my cox.

[staticblac]

<Not Awesome Quote>
Did he just throw that out the window?