Customers say the best things....

**Z^2** · September 3, 2008, 06:45

Re: Customers say the best things....

*waves* at mfreeck (I haven't heard from you since last year Defcon!)

Well my approach sure does piss all the smart people off because if I otherwise don't know the person, I start out with the assumption that people don't know what they're talking about, and build it up from there, e.g.

them: "Why doesn't my computer work?"
me: "You mean the thing that makes loud fan noises and has a place for you to put CDs into?"
them: "Are you actually qualified to be answering this question?!"
me: "Yes, I'm just making sure we're both on the same page."

(I've read too much Plato...)

**mfreeck** · September 3, 2008, 07:35

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Z^2

*waves* at mfreeck (I haven't heard from you since last year Defcon!)

I know! Too bad we didn't run into each other this year, but I missed an extraordinary amount of people this year.

them: "Why doesn't my computer work?"
me: "You mean the thing that makes loud fan noises and has a place for you to put CDs into?"
them: "Are you actually qualified to be answering this question?!"
me: "Yes, I'm just making sure we're both on the same page."

Hahaha, yeah. I got that question a few times too, when they thought they had a simple request/question, but there were far more variables than they thought.

My favourite though is the guy who visited only a "reputable" horse betting site - apparently an established organization, so he KNEW he could not be getting a virus/hacked from it. A month after we'd reinstalled his OS he called back with seventeen instances of IE running, angrily asking why our "hard drive scraping" did not "last for awhile." What a tool.

**Greyhatter** · September 3, 2008, 12:08

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Partison

Is it me or does anyone else feel like a new user to this "good ol' compooter" or "dat dang computation machine" should have to take an IQ test or go through some sort of screening process. Oh the days of the 386(this was my first because I was only 5) when everyone thought computers were magic.....oh wait they still do.

My $0.02

Yea I tossed this ball up in here before. I like to call it an basic PC user and Internet drivers license test that must be passed to be out here. Who would construct, evaluate, regulate, distribute, and enforce such a thing?

Going in order it would be a TI30, TI50, Vic20, C-64, IBM8086-8, 386, 486, Celery-on, Penti-on.. (um) Dual Core, with Quad on the horizon. I'm sure some in here will fry me on the TI30 and 50.

**Greyhatter** · September 3, 2008, 12:23

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by mfreeck

The conversation I had most frequently with folks who had their computer in for repair of viruses was "ok, understand that if we reinstall your operating system EVERYTHING will be erased." Inevitably the next questions would be "oh, even my pictures? well, what about MS Word? Oh. What about...." I started telling them it was like bulldozing a house. The OS was the house and their programs were like furniture. They immediately saw how silly it was to expect their chairs to still be standing after the entire house was bulldozed.

A fine example of "KISS." It's so hard to know who will be offended when we take it to this level, but these are survival tools we all need in this industry (even between each other as we were all newbees once.) My achilles heel has always been patience amongst the yearlings.

**Thorn** · September 3, 2008, 13:14

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Greyhatter

Going in order it would be a TI30, TI50, Vic20, C-64, IBM8086-8, 386, 486, Celery-on, Penti-on.. (um) Dual Core, with Quad on the horizon. I'm sure some in here will fry me on the TI30 and 50.

Uh, lessee...

Xerox Sigma Six
IBM 1130
IBM 360
IBM 370
IBM 36
IBM PCs
IBM ATs
IBM PS/2s
A lot of beige box 386s
Ditto 486s, Pentiums, PII, PIII, Celerons, etc.

Plus there have been a half dozen specialized computers that ran their own RTOS. But that covers the high points.

**theprez98** · September 3, 2008, 16:10

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Thorn

Abacus
Slide rule
Astrolabe
Xerox Sigma Six
IBM 1130
IBM 360
IBM 370
...

Fixed!

**xor** · September 3, 2008, 16:32

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Thorn

Uh, lessee...

Xerox Sigma Six
IBM 1130
IBM 360
IBM 370
IBM 36
IBM PCs
IBM ATs
IBM PS/2s
A lot of beige box 386s
Ditto 486s, Pentiums, PII, PIII, Celerons, etc.

Plus there have been a half dozen specialized computers that ran their own RTOS. But that covers the high points.

PDP11, Data General Nova 3 & 4(big car wheel size 10mb disks); DEC Writers. I'm sooooo old

You know it's bad when you knew what the badge was from the last shmoocon.

xor

**Greyhatter** · September 3, 2008, 17:51

Re: Customers say the best things....

Foul! No fair, I wasn't talking the Eniac of 60 years ago, mainframes or servers, but rather personal computers (PC'S). But now that we've all dated ourselves, I first started to count on my Piddies Computer (PC).

**Thorn** · September 3, 2008, 18:54

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Greyhatter

Foul! No fair, I wasn't talking the Eniac of 60 years ago, mainframes or servers, but rather personal computers (PC'S).

It wasn't 60 years ago,

only 35 or so...

**streaker69** · September 3, 2008, 19:39

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by Thorn

It wasn't 60 years ago,

only 35 or so...

ENIAC went online Feb 14, 1946, You should remember that, didn't you personally roll the filaments for the tubes?

**Thorn** · September 3, 2008, 20:07

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by streaker69

ENIAC went online Feb 14, 1946, You should remember that, didn't you personally roll the filaments for the tubes?

I meant my examples, not ENIAC. As to the second part, I plead the Fifth.

**nerdgir1** · September 4, 2008, 17:01

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by xor

This brings up a question I constantly ask myself. How do I talk tech to the none tech? How do you do it; especially management? I'm serious for a change and just want to hear other people ideas and methods. It's something that really vex's me.

xor

Talking tech to management - Use words like Synergy, Interoperable, Cross Platform, Redundancy, and Cost-effective. Management doesn't care what it "means" so much as what it sounds like it "means".

If communicating server outages to management, don't say "down". Use words like Unavailable, Latency, and undergoing planned maintenance or undergoing emergency maintenance.

For regular folks (non-management), just stick to the big picture/main idea, make generalizations and don't spend a lot of time on one aspect.

Examples:

User can't print because their chosen printer driver is not installed on their OS.
"You can't print due to a <insert OS here> issue. Download this update and it will fix your problem."

User can't connect to the internet because their onboard wan has been disabled via the BIOS. "Your wireless is currently turned off. Follow these steps to turn it on."

**streaker69** · September 4, 2008, 17:26

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by nerdgir1

Talking tech to management - Use words like Synergy, Interoperable, Cross Platform, Redundancy, and Cost-effective. Management doesn't care what it "means" so much as what it sounds like it "means".

That's funny, I just told my boss yesterday that he needed to embrace the synergy of the new paradigm while spearheading the trailblazing event into the new interoperable project of SOP integration.

**Greyhatter** · September 4, 2008, 19:43

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by nerdgir1

Talking tech to management - Use words like Synergy, Interoperable, Cross Platform, Redundancy, and Cost-effective. Management doesn't care what it "means" so much as what it sounds like it "means".

If communicating server outages to management, don't say "down". Use words like Unavailable, Latency, and undergoing planned maintenance or undergoing emergency maintenance.

For regular folks (non-management), just stick to the big picture/main idea, make generalizations and don't spend a lot of time on one aspect.

Examples:

User can't print because their chosen printer driver is not installed on their OS.
"You can't print due to a <insert OS here> issue. Download this update and it will fix your problem."

User can't connect to the internet because their onboard wan has been disabled via the BIOS. "Your wireless is currently turned off. Follow these steps to turn it on."

Gezus what planet are you from? I'd fire your arse in less than a nanosecond if you did that to my management! Get real~

**xor** · September 5, 2008, 04:46

Re: Customers say the best things....

Originally posted by streaker69

That's funny, I just told my boss yesterday that he needed to embrace the synergy of the new paradigm while spearheading the trailblazing event into the new interoperable project of SOP integration.

If said that to my boss he would beat me with a whip.

xor

The Key phrase where I work is "Just Get It Done". Of course I have no authority, but am totally accountable.

Customers say the best things....

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