drunken whores

[astcell]

Originally posted by humperdink

"Humperdink"
Jon Miller CISSP
Sr. Security Engineer
(I know you all thought I worked at McDonalds...)

So Defcon for you is like blowing off steam after as tough year of work. Sort of like the guy who likes to be whipped and beaten and he is CEO of a company (that was a fun news bit a few years ago).

But one day we may see application forms that have these progressively worse questions on it:

Have you ever been arrested?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Have you ever been a Drunken Whore?

[boogah]

Originally posted by russ
But I *DO* have something nice to say about the DWs. At least they keep the masses preoccupied and entertained. I assume it's something akin to plugging in a Dumb & Dumber or Jay and Silent Bob DVD.

snoonch to the noonch my friend, snoonch to the noonch.

[humperdink]

HOLY SHIT.... So much anger to get out....

This is the official stance of drunkenwhores.com

Drunkenwhores.com does not condone or endorse drinking in anyway. We do not feel that has to be done, after all anyone that's cool does it, we learned that in High School. Drinking can be hazardous to your health and reduce you life expectancy by multiple years... however the years you loose are those annoying ones as an old man, crapping yourself and watching matlock. Not that there is anything wrong with crapping yourself and watching Matlock, we feel that is a suitable life choice just not suitable for a Drunkenwhore.

In response to the comment by Russ about talking to our grandchildern about being a drunkenwhore, we feel it would go more along these lines...

Humperdink: "yeah, back in the the day I was a drunken whore!"
Granddaughter: "What's that grandpa?"
Humperdink: "Well, darling, it's where you drink more booze than is physically healthy and then you proceed to wash it down with more booze. Heck, sometimes I even got the opportunity to show hundreds of kids how I can bring my dinner back up into a rubbermaid container."
Granddaughter: "Gee grandpa, you were pretty dumb, huh?"
Humperdink: "Not as dumb as you... come over here so I can hit you..."

Because drunkenwhores does support child abuse...

[humperdink]

Best of Drunkenwhores comments over the years...

http://forum.defcon.org/showthread.p...id=688#post688

Results of the Drunkenwhores Poll

Ban them from Defcon! 3.85%

Let them come next year, but give them no power. 38.46%

Give a few of them some power, but watch them like a hawk. 5.77%

Same as last year... 1.92%

I don't care 21.15%

Drunk Whores Rule! 28.85%

--------
Let the come but give them no power won... however over time we have become more powerful than ever, more powerful than skeletor more powerful than megatron.

Below are actual quotes from the different threads, we are not sure the exact stance on Russ about drunkenwhores but shit he has a nice ass so we like him anyways... The last chapter in a beautiful saga, well maybe not last but surely a chapter...

No offense Chris, but your drinking buddies are dorks. They didn't do anything related to hacking , security, or social engineering. You just like them because they can drink like you! hahaha
-russ

quite frankly, the Drunken Whores sucked as SE hosts. They did live up to their name, showing up rather drunken...I do not believe that they should be allowed to host an event in DCX, but it's not our place to ban them from the con. Last I checked, Defcon didn't really do that. Sure, let 'em come, but don't let them host anything.
-starlapureheart

Yeah, Humperdink is a DW. And I don't think there's any reason to ban them... But I'm not sure that having a bunch of drunk guys running anything for the con is a good thing. hahah
-russ

I admit I was laughing a lot Hmmmm... maybe they can rig up a DrunkCam helmet and walk around vegas and bother people, bums, whores... and we can all watch from our rooms, or from a centralized point, like movie-night... that would rock. I'd buy that for a dollar!

Response: Hmmm... you ideas intrigue me... i would like to subscribe to your newsletter
-blackwave

atleast last year the whores/h-dink made haxor jeopardy alot more enjoyable to watch without having any beer to drink of my own at the time.
-encieno

I loved when they brought out the trash can to contain beer puke... it was like a moment of silence..
-blackwave

Anyone want to bet that one of them streaks at some point during the con?

Response: Contact Tommee Pickles for the video... Shit that was done DEFCON 7
-blackwave

I thought hackers were supposed to be intelligent. At this rate, Humperdink will be dead before he's 40.
-russ

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to be a Drunken Whore.
-boogah

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But I'm not sure that having a bunch of drunk guys running anything for the con is a good thing. hahah -Russ
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then what, exactly, will me, you and Chris be doing instead this year?


P.S. I'm a member of the Drunken Whores too..but dont tell anyone..
-noid

Yah... Before I was a Drunkenwhore, ,I weighed 163lbs.... Now I weigh 168, and everything looks like butter to me.
-skrooyoo

Oh shit... Don't get me wrong Russ, I never wanted to make DW seem "respectable". Fuck no. If we get that way it's time to quit...
-boogah

hahah, ok. Well, just so it's on record... I like the DW. Just not sure they should do anything except consume alcohol at DC. haha
-russ

I wonder if the DWs would be allowed at Defcon. I mean, Las Vegas disallowed Mike Tyson from their town because they have standards.
-astcell

Just what impresses a drunken whore? Something tells me a college degree, MCSE, A+ and CNE are not what drunkenwhores look for. The only drunken whores I ever knew were only interested in $50 bills, Mad Dog 2020, cigarettes, and spermacidal foam.
-astcell

[russ]

hahaha, ok, that's one f'd up line of conversation HD!

We may have to get you guys to sponsor HJ and pay for all the beer. Hey, that's not actually too bad of an idea! The L0pht used to sponsor the TCP/IP drinking game.... so why not let you guys sponsor this one?

[Grifter]

I can bring the garbage cans.

[humperdink]

WTF Dont we just host the TCP/IP Drinking Game... I think anyone could come up with anyone more qualified to host a drinking game....

[humperdink]

that meant why the fuck... not what the fuck...

[Ricky1146]

My 1st time

well this will be my 1st defcon i know its kinda stupid to ask but whats the big deal over the drunken whores besides the obvious like i said my 1st defcon will be this year

[octalpus]

Re: My 1st time

Originally posted by Ricky1146
well this will be my 1st defcon i know its kinda stupid to ask but whats the big deal over the drunken whores besides the obvious like i said my 1st defcon will be this year

Missing out, you have been. See the reason for this hype soon, you shall.

[urban]

Re: Re: My 1st time

Originally posted by octalpussy
Missing out, you have been. See the reason for this hype soon, you shall.

Does this mean you'll spend the weekend strapped to his back, forcing him to run back and forth through the venue while insulting his skills?

Or will you instead while away your time bouncing off the walls like a crack-addled pinball (or Red Bull-fuelled skiddie)?

[Ricky1146]

octalpussy the mysteryous?

Missing out, you have been. See the reason for this hype soon, you shall. (octalpussy)

well course i cant do the way you guys can since im a newbie what you mean by that 1 octalpussy btw nice site but your about tou links are dead if you dont know

[octalpus]

Re: octalpussy the mysteryous?

Originally posted by Ricky1146
Missing out, you have been. See the reason for this hype soon, you shall. (octalpussy)

well course i cant do the way you guys can since im a newbie what you mean by that 1 octalpussy btw nice site but your about tou links are dead if you dont know

Yes, I know they're dead. I'm in the process of redesigning it. My site isn't there for your amusement, anyway.

And if you can't figure out my comment, you REALLY need to get some culture.

[octalpus]

Re: Re: Re: My 1st time

Originally posted by urban
Does this mean you'll spend the weekend strapped to his back, forcing him to run back and forth through the venue while insulting his skills?

Or will you instead while away your time bouncing off the walls like a crack-addled pinball (or Red Bull-fuelled skiddie)?

Red Bull tastes like rotten ass.

Work hard, he must, if he wishes to defeat the dark side.

[urban]

Re: Re: Re: Re: My 1st time

Originally posted by octalpussy
Red Bull tastes like rotten ass.

And Red Bull mixed with Chopin vodka tastes like ass-flavored vodka. Or vodka-flavored ass.

Either way, it won't be touching my lips. I've seen what happens to people who drink that crap. They end up dressed like, talking like, and acting like ravers.


...which reminds me: Anyone remember if the AP bar has Chopin? Or must I trek over to Red Square (I forget which hotel; the bar's a solid sheet of ice, and they've got a huge replica of Lenin's Head) to get decent vodka?