Spot The Fed

[not5150]

Last year... there were some intelligent questions and some REALLY stupid questions.

Some of the stupid questions

1. Have you ever killed anyone?
2. Do you carry a gun?
3. Do you work in a room with 4 walls??

Number 3 took the cake... I'm guessing the guy was trying to ask, "Do you work in a building with no windows?"

[Pyr0]

Spotting the Fewd

Just grab random goon and say, "hey goon, this guys a fed"

[Pyr0]

Better questions to ask a fewd

Is your pay determined by a GS level/rank?

Do you have a federal ID issued to you?

Do you live within an hour of Reston, Sterling, Arlington, Lakewood :) - these locations are good v.s. the standard - do you live in DC? Most fewds don't live in DC they commute.

Do you have the power of arrest?

[TheCotMan]

Is your pay determined by a GS level/rank?

Yeah, I covered this one earlier. :-)

Do you have a federal ID issued to you?

This may not be as good, since our SSN is an identifier which is provided by the feds. Also, many people have passports if you mean photoID and these are from the feds.

However, if SSN is not considered a Federal ID, but passports are, then a "No" response to this can help to eliminate some Feds, but a, "Yes," is no guarantee the person actually is a fed.

"Do you have a badge given to you by the federal government" may be more on target to helping your increase chance a person might be certain kinds of feds, but may still not be enough as people in the military can call some awards "badges" even if it is informal.

Do you live within an hour of Reston, Sterling, Arlington, Lakewood :) - these locations are good v.s. the standard - do you live in DC? Most fewds don't live in DC they commute.

Good idea. Inclusion of cities and suburbs of cities near areas of heavy Federal employment can help to increase the score of a person who may be a fed. This alone is not enough, but when paired with other clues can help you to better ask questions which target a specific agency.

Do you have the power of arrest?

Not as good. Citizens have power of citizen's arrest.


You have some really good ideas for helping to score a person as a fed, or eliminate them as not being a fed. :-)

This thread is really nice! (Thanks Rebourne, for starting it)


[Edit: Added content below here]

Just grab random goon and say, "hey goon, this guys a fed"

Hmmm. Brute force technique! If there is at least one fed in the crowd and the fed is not the goon or you, this method could theoretically work... .... assuming the goon did not get fed up with too many questions and find it to be more helpful to introduce the spotter the bottom of a garbage can.

Though I would not mind watching the result of other people trying this technique, I think I'd prefer to not include it in techniques i would try.

[AlxRogan]

Is your pay determined by a GS level/rank?

Do you have a federal ID issued to you?

Do you live within an hour of Reston, Sterling, Arlington, Lakewood :) - these locations are good v.s. the standard - do you live in DC? Most fewds don't live in DC they commute.

Do you have the power of arrest?

Those are pretty good, but as a federal contractor working on a couple of different contracts, 1,2, and 3 all apply to me as well. :) I think this thread definitely helps out for anyone wanting to spot a fed, but also be prepared to be laughed at.

[not5150]

Is your pay determined by a GS level/rank?

Do you have a federal ID issued to you?

Do you live within an hour of Reston, Sterling, Arlington, Lakewood :) - these locations are good v.s. the standard - do you live in DC? Most fewds don't live in DC they commute.

Do you have the power of arrest?

The last question, as discussed earlier in the thread, is HORRIBLE. Everyone has the power to arrest. A most states, a citizens ability to arrest is actually GREATER than law enforcement.

Also, FBI and Secret Service have bureau offices all around the country. Asking them if they live within an hour of Reston, Sterling, Arlington, Lakewood doesn't work too well.

[TwinVega]

The last question, as discussed earlier in the thread, is HORRIBLE. Everyone has the power to arrest. A most states, a citizens ability to arrest is actually GREATER than law enforcement.

Which has already been pointed out...and by you no less. Maybe if he actually read the post he would have known that...

kids nowadays...

[drdank]

Denials?

Have there been any instances where someone was obviously a Fed but denied it up and down? If they don't want to make their presence known, then they don't have to answer these questions truthfully or at all.

[TheCotMan]

Have there been any instances where someone was obviously a Fed but denied it up and down? If they don't want to make their presence known, then they don't have to answer these questions truthfully or at all.

"Obviously a fed" ?

How about I substitute "Seems likely they are a Fed" for "Obviously a Fed." :-)

There have been people who have been singled out and brought forward to Priest who have declined to go on to the stage. Some of these could be feds.

However, most of the people who are singled out as possible feds take things pretty well and work within the game. The greatest numbers of lies seem to come from people who want to try to pretend to be feds to get a free tee shirt. Many of these are found fairly quickly, but I would expect that there are some people who have managed to get "I'm the Fed" Tees without being feds.

From what I recall, most of the "Spot the Fed" sessions occur in the presentations which target beginners more than advanced topics, or maybe it would be better to say, "the popular" vs "the less popular" sessions. I have been in sessions with more advanced topics where the room was less than 20% full. There was one year where I only saw one Spot the Fed contest, and that was it.

Maybe someone else has seen an example of what you write. With exception to people who won't go onto the stage, I have not seen this.

[Gadsden]

How about "Can you carry a gun on a domestic flight?" ;)

[lil_freak]

How about "Can you carry a gun on a domestic flight?" ;)

Now some feds are also carrying the TASER X26 along with a standard gun.

[not5150]

You will need to be more specific on the gun on a domestic flight question.

Pilots can carry if they have completed the Federal Gun course.

If you put a gun in your checked baggage this would count as well.

Also, private pilots in small planes can have guns in their luggage (which may very well be in the seat next to them)

[astcell]

Don't say gun, say weapon or firearm. Technically speaking, a "gun" takes two or more people to properly operate.

Oh and if I recall correctly, all clearances are designated by one letter. There are all sorts from Interim confidential clearances all the way up to the good stuff.

I love the idea of just grabbing someone at random and saying they are a fed. :D Were any feds spotted last year? Defcon always seems to have a headcount, maybe it's time for a fedcount. :p

[erehwon]

Alright, since I am/was working in an enviroment where I was recommending Federal clients to attend Defcon, I will share my several years knowlege with the masses. :)

Most Feds I know were staying at the all suites Embassy Suites, as its part of the Hilton chain, walking distance to the AP, and had decent Government and Miltary rates. Years previously I have seen a number of DOD investigators, NSA, NASA IG, and private military contractors. You might have the same luck with the Amerisuites, the Crown Plaza, etc.

A certain number of them will stay at the AP, (just because they are staying there doesn't mean they know where the ice machines are*) but look for the ones aloof on how to dress, the USMC IO guys had the standard jarhead haircut, and looked really out of place with all the blue long haired gothlings running about, you can spot these Feds early as they haven't had the opportunity to hit the vendor area and camouflage themselves with the crowd.

If you find a Fed, ask them nicely if they would like to be outted, but outted PRIVATELY, many are at Defcon to learn about computer security and hackers, but have been told by the bosses not to be photographed or filmed as it might compromise them in future operations.

Your Fed really wants the "I AM THE FED" shirt, but doesn't want to be out of a job come Monday morning when their bosses are scanning Defconpics.org looking for them on stage. Find Priest and he will more than likely for the sake of OPSEC out them privately, your Fed will more than likely tell anyone else that asks them if they are a Fed nope, at least until they get outted by you, and approved by Priest.

Forwarning, your Fed better be in a position that requires them to be outted privately, if your Fed works for.... say.. the Interior Department, Priest will pummel you for wasting his time, and maybe bash the Fed around for having constantly crappy internet security.

Age is not an issue, many agencies have mandatory retirement at 65, some like the Defense Intelligence Agency will have you around until the day you die.

The good young healthy ones wearing rubber soled shirts and always have their eyes trained on the doors, are usually the Alpha male, door kicker variety of Fed, if you notice they aren't always staring you in the eyes when talking to you, but scanning the enviroment around you, you more than likely have a Fed of interest.

Another word of advice, Feds travel in packs, if you can be professional about it, you can pimp your Fed to your friends and vice versa, just as your friends will be envyous of your "I SPOTTED THE FED" your Fed's friends will want "I AM THE FED" shirts too. Its a two way street, just don't abuse it.

Now just like a Chicago election, vote early and as often as you like, spot your targets early and get your Fed fast, I have no clue how many shirts were printed and some years private outting late in the conference often ended up with no shirt.

* Still can't belive the FBI had no clue where the ice machines were at the AP.

[m33k33r00]

~ feds humm prob hiding behind a tree trying to blend in...warm jackets in sweltering heat etc etc...~