Fscking With The TSA

[audit]

The last time I flew, I was pulled off to the side and they checked me from head to toe. Now I shave my head bald and they were feeling my head up like it was a god damn beach ball. I asked the guy if he was enjoying himself since I didn't have any hair and he just smirked and let me on my way. The next time I fly, I'm thinkin gof putting on mullet wig and seeing what they do with me then.

[theprez98]

The last time I flew, I was pulled off to the side and they checked me from head to toe. Now I shave my head bald and they were feeling my head up like it was a god damn beach ball. I asked the guy if he was enjoying himself since I didn't have any hair and he just smirked and let me on my way. The next time I fly, I'm thinkin gof putting on mullet wig and seeing what they do with me then.

Why not a full costume? Are there laws against travelling in costume?

[TheCotMan]

Why not a full costume? Are there laws against travelling in costume?

I think some states have laws about driving a vehicle while wearing a mask that covers part of the face. I'm not sure about walking in public...
If they had such a law in (named state of choice), then why don't they arrest all thos kids on haloween? Maybe they just choose not to enforce it, if it exists.

[astcell]

I have a buddy who is bald and if anyone touches his head he jumps and screams in pain. he tells folks he cannot wear a hat because of excruciating pain, and even hair hurts so he gets shaved once a week under anasthetic.

Try that one on TSA, and if they still touch you be sure to jump and go into fits.

[BlackOrchid]

I decided that since the TSA likes to humiliate me.. (the female search).. I would return the favor. In otherwords, I make it seem like I'm REALLY enjoying the feel-up I get. I go so far as to tell them.. "wait, a little higher.. ok, be gentle.. harder.. harder.. ".. (no I'm not joking, and for those who met me at DC, they know I'm odd enough to do it!) There are usually 2 men who sit in front of the security booths just to watch these idiots feel up chicks so I figured what the hell.. let's entertain'm.

I'm still trying to recall an incident where a 41 yoa blond grandmother blew up a freak'n plane, hijacked or otherwise caused some terrible disaster. Sorry, but if some tells me that the liquor store was just robbed by a white male, I'm probably not going to be wasting time with the black female; it just seem assinine to me! This isn't security, it's insanity in the highest levels of stupidity-wasting their time doesn't bother me now, I just prepare for it. Inevitably, I will get stopped for some unknown reason-(I still think it's a conspiracy to see girl on girl action!) :)

[[Syntax]]

One agent takes it all while another holds you behind a line/rope until the first agent is safely at the table, 5 feet away as tho you were going to jump over and gouge her eye out with that spoon you have hidden up your ass that didnt set off the detector already.

You are then waved through to the table and told to sit down, 3 feet away, while the agent paws thru your stuff. Your boarding pass is taken away from you at the beginning of this process and is passed from agent to agent beginning with the one standing with his back to you waiting for your stuff to be duly picked up by the next available hells helper.

The lady teling me which leg to hold up and which leg to place behind me spoke to me as tho I were a 2 year old. "Ok, now , raise your right leg, thats the one over here, honey. Very goood!"

2 years ago I went thru security wearing shoes with metal clips, and metal shanks in the sole, belt buckel, cargo pants (like 13 pockets, 6 zippers).

I went thru the whole process of events described all to result in "next time you come to the airport, have someone else dress you"

[sys-error]

This one guy I know sets off the metal detectors each and every time..due to his 7 piercings. The last time we went on a plane trip, when they asked him to "Please remove all metal items/objects from your person," he dropped his pants and attempted to follow their orders.

Yes, we missed that flight.

[octalpus]

This one guy I know sets off the metal detectors each and every time..due to his 7 piercings. The last time we went on a plane trip, when they asked him to "Please remove all metal items/objects from your person," he dropped his pants and attempted to follow their orders.

Yes, we missed that flight.

Tell your friend to stop wearing cheapass jewelry from Spencer's. Surgical and implant grade metals won't set it off.

[eris]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8705746/


Nice article about the "no fly list" from people actually on it.

[Hardware]

Flea Habanero Rum probably still in my body.

nuf said

[MidwestMale]

You think thats bad come to chicago and take a trip to canada or across the usa they basically strip search you before you get into the plane.

we had 5 carry on bags 2 of them (camera equiptment) 1 laptop shoulder bag, 2 suitcase (roller type) and well my roomate had old bullet shell casings in one of the compartments in the laptop bag (his father gave them to him before he passed away - war thing) anyways well after having every bag searched thru and taken out then the bullet shells taken away they jacked my lighter and matches, then you need to take off everything metal (including your belt) so i now come prepaired when i travel on a plane.

1. house shoes
2. swimming shorts (or non-button up pants)
3. tee shirt or no shirt that has buttons.
4. matches (they allow that now) no lighters
5. cell phone/laptop/camcorder/camera bag are opened up before hand.
6. all suitcase's are opened up before hand so they can search it more accurately before they redecorate.
7. make sure you have your ID/Passport/Itenerary/ all out so when you talk to the BIG LADY holding the metal detector wand she wont stick it in your ass to verify your not taking illigual things abored

[allentrace]

woulda been cool to have one that says "Kiss Me, I'm a Terrorist" and have a 767 flaming down toward a downtown area. Hmm, maybe I should call HotTopic and get them to market it.

Fucking Ignorant, did not know people dying was a laughing matter.