fucktardism... a mini-rant

[Deviant Ollam]

well, it's unlikely that this company deserves a place in the fucktard hall of fame, but since they are doing something so mind-bogglingly stupid and since people have from time to time expressed pleasure in my ranting, here goes.

Dell Computer Corporation...

your computers, in addition to coming from the manufacturer with individualized serial numbers, sport an express service tag... a six or seven character alphanumeric string that is specific to each product configuration. (in other words, dell may make the "inspiron 6000 laptop" but over time or depending on customer upgrade at point-of-sale this unit might ship with an intel video card or an ATi video card, etc etc etc. the express service code was specifically designed (as i understand it) to allow their IT staff to learn which hardware is in a customer's unit (since most customers will just read their model number)

ok, so... the people behind the scenes and on the telephones in Bangalore get to know instantly what is in the computer. whoopie for them. but how come when i am on a repair job, i can't access this information easily from the support web site?

go to http://support.dell.com... you can enter a service tag and attempt to download drivers. last night i'm at a woman's office and i type in the service tag of her laptop. the support web site returns a page to me that alerts me in fancy, bold, blue letters to the fact that it has determined (by way of the service tag i entered) that she has an inspiron model 6000.

well thank you very fucking much. since i am incapable of looking on the goddamn front of the fucking laptop i was unable to discern that for myself. a click to the downloads page brings me to... a list of every fucking driver for every fucking piece of hardware that has ever shipped in an inspiron 6000. three video card drivers... and sixteen fucking network drivers. so i get to sit there, downloading every last damn one of them, over my own laptop's modem, transfering them to her computer one at a time with a USB key, and seeing what works.

for god's sake... wasn't there a time when the dell support web site would just return driver listings to you that were relevant to your service code? i think i recall the ability to even enter your own serial number in that first search page.

in any case, mini-rant over... just venting. thanks for being a community that understands my pain.

[SlackJaw]

well, it's unlikely that this company deserves a place in the fucktard hall of fame, but since they are doing something so mind-bogglingly stupid and since people have from time to time expressed pleasure in my ranting, here goes.

Dell Computer Corporation...

your computers, in addition to coming from the manufacturer with individualized serial numbers, sport an express service tag... a six or seven character alphanumeric string that is specific to each product configuration. (in other words, dell may make the "inspiron 6000 laptop" but over time or depending on customer upgrade at point-of-sale this unit might ship with an intel video card or an ATi video card, etc etc etc. the express service code was specifically designed (as i understand it) to allow their IT staff to learn which hardware is in a customer's unit (since most customers will just read their model number)

ok, so... the people behind the scenes and on the telephones in Bangalore get to know instantly what is in the computer. whoopie for them. but how come when i am on a repair job, i can't access this information easily from the support web site?

go to http://support.dell.com... you can enter a service tag and attempt to download drivers. last night i'm at a woman's office and i type in the service tag of her laptop. the support web site returns a page to me that alerts me in fancy, bold, blue letters to the fact that it has determined (by way of the service tag i entered) that she has an inspiron model 6000.

well thank you very fucking much. since i am incapable of looking on the goddamn front of the fucking laptop i was unable to discern that for myself. a click to the downloads page brings me to... a list of every fucking driver for every fucking piece of hardware that has ever shipped in an inspiron 6000. three video card drivers... and sixteen fucking network drivers. so i get to sit there, downloading every last damn one of them, over my own laptop's modem, transfering them to her computer one at a time with a USB key, and seeing what works.

for god's sake... wasn't there a time when the dell support web site would just return driver listings to you that were relevant to your service code? i think i recall the ability to even enter your own serial number in that first search page.

in any case, mini-rant over... just venting. thanks for being a community that understands my pain.

I like the service tags for one reason - all the drivers are right there. They provide BIOS flashes for older models too. I guess Dell dumbs down the process for the less enlightened so if it's any consolation, be happy that you're smarter (and more resourceful) than the average bear.

The only set back is, like you mentioned, it could have an intel or avi card, 2-3 modem/nic options and several sound selections. How the hell do I know what's in there when selecting the drivers? On second though, you're right...we don't need no stinkin' service tags!

T

[astcell]

The driver CD that you get from Dell has all the drivers in the world but one can easily see what you need and what you do not need. The website gives much less detail and I agree, it ought to pick out just what you need to have installed.

A buddy as a DVD/RW drive and wants another drive to copy directly from disc to disc. Now if you phone Dell, the only option you will have is a CD/DVD-ROM drive since he already has a burner. But you type in the service tag, go to the Peripherals page, and every optical drive ever made pops up! C'mon Dell, Not everyone knows what they need to pick from the list, so why not narrow it down, otherwise what is the point of the service tag!

If the PC can get on the web you can have the Dell site chec the installed software for you, but that's a time killer if you ask me.

[Voltage Spike]

I don't know about the current situation, but our business-class machines always gave very specific and technical information on the computer as well as only offering the drivers that made sense. This could be the result of the business machines not changing during their lifetime (which is likely) or Dell downgrading their service at some point. Unfortunately, I don't have one nearby to see what the current support page is like.

[dYn4mic]

well, it's unlikely that this company deserves a place in the fucktard hall of fame, but since they are doing something so mind-bogglingly stupid and since people have from time to time expressed pleasure in my ranting, here goes.

Dell Computer Corporation...

your computers, in addition to coming from the manufacturer with individualized serial numbers, sport an express service tag... a six or seven character alphanumeric string that is specific to each product configuration. (in other words, dell may make the "inspiron 6000 laptop" but over time or depending on customer upgrade at point-of-sale this unit might ship with an intel video card or an ATi video card, etc etc etc. the express service code was specifically designed (as i understand it) to allow their IT staff to learn which hardware is in a customer's unit (since most customers will just read their model number)

ok, so... the people behind the scenes and on the telephones in Bangalore get to know instantly what is in the computer. whoopie for them. but how come when i am on a repair job, i can't access this information easily from the support web site?

go to http://support.dell.com... you can enter a service tag and attempt to download drivers. last night i'm at a woman's office and i type in the service tag of her laptop. the support web site returns a page to me that alerts me in fancy, bold, blue letters to the fact that it has determined (by way of the service tag i entered) that she has an inspiron model 6000.

well thank you very fucking much. since i am incapable of looking on the goddamn front of the fucking laptop i was unable to discern that for myself. a click to the downloads page brings me to... a list of every fucking driver for every fucking piece of hardware that has ever shipped in an inspiron 6000. three video card drivers... and sixteen fucking network drivers. so i get to sit there, downloading every last damn one of them, over my own laptop's modem, transfering them to her computer one at a time with a USB key, and seeing what works.

for god's sake... wasn't there a time when the dell support web site would just return driver listings to you that were relevant to your service code? i think i recall the ability to even enter your own serial number in that first search page.

in any case, mini-rant over... just venting. thanks for being a community that understands my pain.

I know EXACTLY what you mean...... I keep thinking... "Isn't the service tag and machine ID think supposed to tell me EXACTLY what drivers I'd need...." Its even worse when they do that.. on the fuckin CD that came with the box... I love seein the list of 10 drivers for the <xyz> device... sigh... I feel your pain.

yeah.. dell sucks.

[GBHis]

This is kinda off-topic, but since we all express our frustations about Dell, let me join in:
I was going to buy a new box a month ago.
Since I'm under 13 (which also makes me way below 18), I'm pretty screwed when wanting a specially-designed box.
(I wanted to specify which hardware should be in it, which software should be installed. In my country everything made for *normal* users ships with winXP Home or Pro-edition.)
Well, I saw in some television-add that at Dells Fantastic, Fabolous, Nearly Magical Online Store, I could get almost everything I wanted.

>I go to dell.dk (Denmark's suffix)
> There is NOTHING available from the frontpage.
> I do a "Website search" with their own integrated search-box.
> Nothing shows up.... Kinda' bad luck, I think.
> I do a google-search on host:dell.dk
> Ta-da! A phone-number shows up.
> This solves the problem some way....
> I am sure that I could order my parts from the phone, but... That doesn't really make it "online". :(

In the end, I ordered it another place, but that wasted about an hour...

Dell Sucks.
I'm new, not a native english-speaker and I've only had English classes for 2 years Please ignore my typos and "bad" language. :)
-GBHis

[TheCotMan]

This is kinda off-topic, but since we all express our frustations about Dell, ...Dell Sucks.

I'll agree that Del Home Service and home systems suck.
Based on limited experience reported by a buddy from .dk, Dell Business lines in .dk sucks, and so does thier online support.

He bought a server, and when some hardware needed to be replaced, the person that came to replace the PSU only brought one instead of two, and did not know how to replace it, or that each PSU could be separately replaced while the machine was running, since it was a redundant PSU, and the machines was designed for hot swapping of PSU.

My experience with Dell Business lines, and support for business machines is much better. Dell has become the Compaq of the late 90s:
* Good support/hardware for business users
* Horrible support/hardware for Home users

Right now we are testing the waters with IBM units, as well as HP in case Dell business goes the way of their home service.

I'm new, not a native english-speaker and I've only had English classes for 2 years Please ignore my typos and "bad" language

Welcome. :-)

Your non-native English composition skills with 2 years of education are better than a number of American users who claim to have at least 8 years of education in our schools.

[theprez98]

Your non-native English composition skills with 2 years of education are better than a number of American users who claim to have at least 8 years of education in our schools.

Isn't that the truth. Frankly, I wouldn't have guessed English was not his first language, much less for a 13 year old.

I have to admit that Dell does not have much of a reputation on forums: not just here, but elsewhere. What struck me at Shmoocon was the number of Dells, it seemed like 3 or 4 of every 10 laptops was in fact a Dell. I talked to some of these people, and most of the owners (like myself) are relatively happy with them. Perhaps when they "go bad" they'll join the Dark Side. ;-)

[Deviant Ollam]

What struck me at Shmoocon was the number of Dells, it seemed like 3 or 4 of every 10 laptops was in fact a Dell. I talked to some of these people, and most of the owners (like myself) are relatively happy with them.

well, that does and doesn't surprise me at the same time. there is a reason why dell is a popular brand... they've taken the Microsoft / AOL business model and run with it. namely: cater to the lowest-common-denominator of user, make things as idiot-proof as possible, and prevent people from doing what they want in every way you can think of.

this works fine for lamers and lusers who can't figure out how to operate something without massive hand-holding. but those of us who want to customize things are stuck banging our heads into the desk. personally, i approve of the attention dell shows to their hardware (or used to until about a year ago) but i can't handle the big bag of bullshit that comes with them. (i've heard that formatting and re-installing your O/S according to your own preferences can void a warranty... don't know if that's true)

[theprez98]

well, that does and doesn't surprise me at the same time. there is a reason why dell is a popular brand... they've taken the Microsoft / AOL business model and run with it. namely: cater to the lowest-common-denominator of user, make things as idiot-proof as possible, and prevent people from doing what they want in every way you can think of.

this works fine for lamers and lusers who can't figure out how to operate something without massive hand-holding. but those of us who want to customize things are stuck banging our heads into the desk. personally, i approve of the attention dell shows to their hardware (or used to until about a year ago) but i can't handle the big bag of bullshit that comes with them. (i've heard that formatting and re-installing your O/S according to your own preferences can void a warranty... don't know if that's true)

You're probably right about formatting and re-installing, if so, I voided my warranty a long time ago!

I'm not defending Dell, mine has had its share of problems, but I'm not complaining, either. I think most people can learn to like whatever they have, given some flexibility.

[bascule]

The purpose of the express service code that it's entirely numeric, meaning it can be entered on a touchtone telephone. If you don't have one, you get connected to an intermediary operator to whom you have to give your system model and/or service tag. With the express service code, you can enter it on Dell support and get automatically routed to the proper call center.

After dealing with Apple warranty support, Dell is wonderful. Dell will actually send a tech out to troubleshoot your systems onsite. Apple won't even let you ship them a system to repair. You have to ship it to a local Apple Authorized Service Center, or they will only let you play the parts exchange game. And if you exchange a part that they test and determine not to be broken, they charge you for it. It's really, really horrible.

[TheCotMan]

After dealing with Apple warranty support, Dell is wonderful. Dell will actually send a tech out to troubleshoot your systems onsite. Apple won't even let you ship them a system to repair. You have to ship it to a local Apple Authorized Service Center, or they will only let you play the parts exchange game. And if you exchange a part that they test and determine not to be broken, they charge you for it. It's really, really horrible.

Dell Business Support or Home support?

[theprez98]

On my Inspiron 4100, my screen died. Dell sent me a box to return it, and within a week I had it back. Sure, I went a week without it, but they made the process as easy as possible.

[octalpus]

I was one of the many Dell users and I'll tell you exactly why : Complete Care.

I paid a couple hundred dollars extra when I bought my system for this extended warranty, which covers any accidental damage. I have reformatted my drive and still have zero problems getting service. I even wiped out their maintenance partition and they have yet to complain about this.

My repairs/replacements to date:

7 new power cords, which either frayed from wear (bad design which has now been remedied), from me dropping my system onto the cord, and from my cats chewing on it

1 complete system replacement, due to my cat spilling water into it and frying the whole thing... ended up with a better processor, an internal wifi nic, 2x the hdd space, and a dvd burner

2 motherboard replacements, 1 from my dog spilling a milkshake in it, 1 from me dropping the system, killing both the cord and the power connection on the mobo

4 external wifi nic replacements, because I keep dropping the damn thing

2 hdd replacements, reference aforementioned droppage

All of these replacements have been shipped overnight service, except for the total replacement and one of the mobo replacements (the one involving the milkshake), for which they required me to send it to the depot. Those two were returned to me in under 1 week.

I've had this system for 3 years, the warranty is good for 1 more. After this, there is most definitely a new Dell in my future.

[dYn4mic]

....from my cats chewing on it....

I hope sparc didn't spark.