New Defcon Rules

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  • xor
    not
    • Aug 2007
    • 1347
    #1

    New Defcon Rules

    New Defcon Rules:

    1. Never drink anything larger than your head!
    care of Renderman

    2. Never drink anything larger than your head, and then go to a Las Vegas strip club with only a credit card. (My credit card wasn't hacked by hackers, but by strippers)
    care of xor

    Submissions welcome.


    xor
    Last edited by xor; August 4, 2009, 05:44.
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should. This applies to making babies, hacking, and youtube videos.
    Tags: new rules
    • YenTheFirst
      Member
      • Aug 2008
      • 282
      #2
      Re: New Defcon Rules

      In fact, never go to a Vegas strip club with a credit card, at all, sober or not. Cash only is easier, and serves as a 'know when to stop' limit.

      Some would add a rule "don't go to a Las Vegas strip club, period", but I have no comment there.
      It's not stupid, it's advanced.

        Comment

        • Rhenium
          Mad Scientist!
          • Jul 2007
          • 72
          #3
          Re: New Defcon Rules

          Wow, must have been a hell of a party...

            Comment

            • kallahar
              Goon Like Object
              • Jan 2003
              • 571
              #4
              Re: New Defcon Rules

              I went to a vegas strip club for a bachelor party. I thought ahead and did cash only, but late that night I literally ran out of money. I was stressed because I had started with about $600 for the trip! When I finally got back to the hotel room I found $400 in my bag, I had set it aside before leaving *exactly* for this reason :)

              So, always plan ahead!
              --- The fuck? Have you ever BEEN to Defcon?

                Comment

                • barry99705
                  Member
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 302
                  #5
                  Re: New Defcon Rules

                  Originally posted by Rhenium
                  Wow, must have been a hell of a party...
                  He should have it paid off by Defcon18....

                    Comment

                    • eris
                      Giving birth to a star
                      • Aug 2005
                      • 703
                      #6
                      Re: New Defcon Rules

                      Originally posted by kallahar
                      I went to a vegas strip club for a bachelor party. I thought ahead and did cash only, but late that night I literally ran out of money. I was stressed because I had started with about $600 for the trip! When I finally got back to the hotel room I found $400 in my bag, I had set it aside before leaving *exactly* for this reason :)

                      So, always plan ahead!

                      For example, don't leave cheap tech within eyesight in a car whose window it will cost more to replace than the tech. (I heard this rumor, I hope it isn't true, cuz it sucks)

                      My real advice: take a milk thistle supplement every day during con, drink anything that has multiple B vitamin supplements in it each morning, and before you try to eat on that hangover belly drink a liquid protein shake to prepare your system for solid food. This was my regimen for everyone in my room this year and it was miraculous.
                      Hack your body!
                      "They-Who-Were-Google are no longer alone. Now we are all Google."

                        Comment

                        • sintax_error
                          DC949 Alchemist
                          • Aug 2008
                          • 488
                          #7
                          Re: New Defcon Rules

                          Originally posted by xor
                          New Defcon Rules:

                          1. Never drink anything larger than your head!
                          care of Renderman
                          Does this still apply when/if Quark's ever re-opens?

                          Never hop into a dumpster higher than your nipple without knowing what's inside.
                          "You have cubed asscheeks?"... "Do you not?"

                            Comment

                            • barry99705
                              Member
                              • Sep 2007
                              • 302
                              #8
                              Re: New Defcon Rules

                              I'm not sure if theprez98 is a member here, so I'll post his for him.

                              5. Never turn to your buddies on the plane and say, "Look! I have a usb switchblade!".


                              He was getting the evil eye from the guy behind him the whole flight!

                                Comment

                                • Xodia
                                  Lurker Savant
                                  • Sep 2003
                                  • 515
                                  #9
                                  Re: New Defcon Rules

                                  6. Never use the credit advance machine in the lobby of the hotel. It may be legit, but it will go missing and mysteriously return in a Jesus-like manner three days later.

                                  7. Don't bother throwing your hands up like an idiot for free swag at any point...it does nothing.

                                  8. If taking lock picks as carry-on luggage never fail to mention, "Maam', I am returning from a security conference and have no other means of getting my tools home. Please, examine my badge and identification, I understand its your job."
                                  The dude abides.

                                    Comment

                                    • theprez98
                                      SpoonfeederExtraordinaire
                                      • Jan 2005
                                      • 1507
                                      #10
                                      Re: New Defcon Rules

                                      Originally posted by barry99705
                                      I'm not sure if theprez98 is a member here, so I'll post his for him.

                                      5. Never turn to your buddies on the plane and say, "Look! I have a usb switchblade!".


                                      He was getting the evil eye from the guy behind him the whole flight!
                                      Except I forgot to say "USB", so...
                                      "\x74\x68\x65\x70\x72\x65\x7a\x39\x38";

                                        Comment

                                        • bjaming
                                          Registered Luser
                                          • Feb 2009
                                          • 185
                                          #11
                                          Re: New Defcon Rules

                                          #9 stay on the fucking right side of the hallway assholes
                                          Network Jesus died for your SYN

                                            Comment

                                            • barry99705
                                              Member
                                              • Sep 2007
                                              • 302
                                              #12
                                              Re: New Defcon Rules

                                              Originally posted by theprez98
                                              Except I forgot to say "USB", so...
                                              Oh!! I missed that part!

                                                Comment

                                                • bascule
                                                  omgpwnies!
                                                  • Jul 2003
                                                  • 1946
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: New Defcon Rules

                                                  Never go to a Vegas strip club, period. They suck. Treat yourself to a nice topless show, and if you're still seeking strippers, hit up a cheaper place in your hometown.
                                                  45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B0
                                                  45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B1
                                                  [ redacted ]

                                                    Comment

                                                    • streaker69
                                                      • Mar 2008
                                                      • 1141
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: New Defcon Rules

                                                      Originally posted by bascule
                                                      Never go to a Vegas strip club, period. They suck. Treat yourself to a nice topless show, and if you're still seeking strippers, hit up a cheaper place in your hometown.
                                                      He's from Philly. If you've ever been to a strip club there, you'd know why he doesn't go to them there. ;)
                                                      A third party security audit is the IT equivalent of a colonoscopy. It's long, intrusive, very uncomfortable, and when it's done, you'll have seen things you really didn't want to see, and you'll never forget that you've had one.

                                                        Comment

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