Girls

[TheCotMan]

Oh. Things not to do?
How about:
Lift up on one of her boobs and say, "you're lopsided, but should do for the night."
Inspect her teeth, and ask if she likes biting pillows.
Tell her that everyone has the right to be ugly, but that does not mean she has to abuse it.
Ask her if she does not mind having her head covered with a bag during sex.
Ask for the, "going rate."
Ask if she has any 2-for-1 offers, or economy rate for repeat customers or group discount if you have friends..
Ask if she was born with a feedbag over her mouth.

Yeah. Those are things you probably shouldn't do.

On a more serious note...

Things you should do:
Hang out with her in your "normal" environment. Initially, with other people around, and slowly progressing to fewer people around. Such things can be done through suggestion.
"Hey, there is an empty bench over there. You want to go sit?" (over break, lunch or time when most everyone stands around between classes.)
or
"I'm heading over to <place to get food> and you're invited. Want to come with me?"

By making the suggestions, you are showing leadership, and by asking questions, you demonstrate respect for her interest and you can estimate body language, facial expressions and changes to her voice to determine her interest. By using such clues, you can better understand your risk for rejection in asking her out to a movie, or something else.

I know emotion can influence a person's perception of other people's body language, but if you can be rational, and observant, you can know the answer to certain questions before you ask them.

If she is interested in you, she may choose to hang out with you when you go on, otherwise mundane trips. If she is not interested in you, and you still want to be with her, then you have the burden of catching her eye. (Not literally speaking; popping out the eyeball, just to catch it does not count. This is something that should go in the "not-to-do" list.)

[KeLviN]

of course i mean no offense, since this groups me in too...

but this whole thread feels like a bunch of quadruple amputee's giving swimming advice to a rock....

[skroo]

Oh. Things not to do?

You forgot anything involving, or that might potentially involve, the word 'speculum' coming into conversation.

Also, if all else fails: roofies.

[pr0zac0x2a]

"Hey, there is an empty bench over there. You want to go sit?" (over break, lunch or time when most everyone stands around between classes.)
or
"I'm heading over to <place to get food> and you're invited. Want to come with me?"

By making the suggestions, you are showing leadership

I agree with this completely, I'd however make a small change to the way things are phrased. Like TheCotman said, women like leadership, even more so if you express it confidently. Its kind of asking by assuming you already know the answer. For instance:

"Hey theres an empty bench over there. Lets go sit."
or
"I'm heading over to <ultra good Mexican restaurant>. You should come with me."

It allows the woman to answer yes or no in the same way as if you'd asked with a direct question, but also shows assertiveness and confidence which is always a good thing.

On another note, if she says she will go out with you, speaking from experience, women like "Lets go do <something fun an exciting>" more than "Should we go do <something fun an exciting>?" and a whole lot more than "What do you want to do?". Being confident is important. If you aren't sure of yourself why should she be?

You forgot anything involving, or that might potentially involve, the word 'speculum' coming into conversation.

This is not always true. I could tell you a story about this one girl I met....

Actually, I'll save that one for another thread.

-zac

[Second]

of course i mean no offense, since this groups me in too...

but this whole thread feels like a bunch of quadruple amputee's giving swimming advice to a rock....

I dunno...I mean at least some of the guys/girls giving advice in this thread are married/in a relationship, right? It doesn't seem like that big of a deal. You should know by now if she's interested or not, so just go with what you think will work I got one my first try and am still going out with her 3 years later.

[astcell]

of course i mean no offense, since this groups me in too...

but this whole thread feels like a bunch of quadruple amputee's giving swimming advice to a rock....

It's more than anyone ever gave me at that age.

[Mr.A]

Well, it's nice advice that's been coming in, but I still haven't even been able to talk to her since wednesday at lunch. I tried phoning her on thursday, but all I got was an answering machine... So I don't know if I should even try calling again. But I'm going to probably have to talk to her sooner or later. But I get too nervous sometimes, cause even through I was planning to ask her out on wednesday after school, I turned around the coner, saw her, but she didnt see me, and then something in my stomach just felt weird and pulled me back, and I just left and went home... and I haven't really even talked to her much at all. But, of course, people are going to tell me to "swallow it, and talk to her" but it's not as easy as just typing it. I get too nervous when she's around, and I feel like I can't talk at all. It's just too hard for someone like me.

[astcell]

Well if her answering machine said, "Leave a message at the beep, but if this is Mr. A, go jump in a lake" then I could tell you what to do. But if it did not day that then leave a message like "every time I see you the rest of my world talkes a back seat" which is true since you get nervous and such. Just leave a short concise message with a few points in it, don't ramble with ums and uhs. Maybe an answering machine is better for you after all for now. Don't wait too long, you don't want to go stale!

[mfreeck]

Its kind of asking by assuming you already know the answer. For instance:

"Hey theres an empty bench over there. Lets go sit."
or
"I'm heading over to <ultra good Mexican restaurant>. You should come with me."

If you only want to go out with submissive females, this is good advice. If you would be open to an independent or dominant female, listen to Cotman. :)

of course i mean no offense, since this groups me in too...

but this whole thread feels like a bunch of quadruple amputee's giving swimming advice to a rock....

Hehe, I was thinking something along the same lines. People without social skills are just full of advice to someone without social skills, even if they can't order their own beer at a pub.

OTOH, everyone has deficiencies in different areas and perhaps all of us together in one thread can make one socially competent person.

Or the broth will taste mighty nasty.

[TheCotMan]

If you only want to go out with submissive females, this is good advice. If you would be open to an independent or dominant female, listen to Cotman. :)

Heh-heh. I am no Casanova.


The point for the balance in the questions is not just the message that is sent, but something that acts as reaction-fuel so reactions may be observed. With the two parts to each suggested statement in my post, there is opportunity to see how two different complementary statements put forward may impact the target. (Many data-points are needed for approximation. The fewer samples you have, the greater the risk for inaccurate data.)

In this way, a balanced collection of statements permits more opportunity for gathering information about your target with respect to you. With this information, you are not expected to change yourself to be what they want, or even pretend. (These are bad ideas.) With this information, you can try to predict how well they will get along with you. (If they are [submissive|aggresive|nit-picking|anal-retentive|deceptive|.*], and that turns you on, great, but if that is a turn-off, it is better to know sooner, than later.)

Through such two-way conversation, and observation, you also gain access to the most important clue: is your target open to changing a friendship with you into something more intimate. This is important, because there is no "undo" once you or she express your feelings about taking such a course.

...this whole thread feels like a bunch of quadruple amputee's giving swimming advice to a rock....

Yeah, but I have a Sig-O, so even if I don't have legs, I'm in the water; I must have arms-- call me, "Bob."

What is that about a few people having one eye each, in a kingdom of blind people? Did they teach rocks to swim? (Mixing metaphors is fun.)

[Deviant Ollam]

What is that about a few people having one eye each, in a kingdom of blind people?

"In The Kingdom Of The Blind, The One-Eyed Are Kings"

in addition to being a relatively wise sentiment (rather akin to George Orwell's comment, "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act"... incredibly relevant today) it was the title of a song by Dead Can Dance on their 1988 album The Serpent's Egg.

[pr0zac0x2a]

If you only want to go out with submissive females, this is good advice. If you would be open to an independent or dominant female, listen to Cotman. :)

This is a misunderstanding I expected. First off, I was agreeing with TheCotMan, just differing slightly in my words used.

More importantly however, is this has nothing to do with dating a submissive vs dominant girl. Wording things this way in no way takes away from the other person's independence or makes you the dominator in a conversation or relationship. It still allows the woman to respond with a no if they don't want to, it just makes you look more like you believe in yourself.

The most independent, dominant woman in the world will still want a strong confident man (assuming shes not into femdom stuff or something). The purpose of wording things like that is to show that you are sure of yourself and that she should be too. The majority of women find confidence to be one of the most attractive traits a mate can have. Thus you say things with confidence. Get it now?

-zac

[big chopper]

On a second thought, if its so much effort to talk to her maybe this isn't ment to be. All of the better realtionships I've been in just happened. If you're freaked to approacher her today, you'll be just as freaked to approach her next week. I think you need ot presue someone else (that you're more comfortable with). I don't subscribe to the "one and only" therory. There are a lot of great women out there. Find one you're comfprtable talking to.
--BC,

[KeLviN]

On a second thought, if its so much effort to talk to her maybe this isn't ment to be. All of the better realtionships I've been in just happened. If you're freaked to approacher her today, you'll be just as freaked to approach her next week. I think you need ot presue someone else (that you're more comfortable with). I don't subscribe to the "one and only" therory. There are a lot of great women out there. Find one you're comfprtable talking to.
--BC,

yeah, i'm on board with this one. I have a feeling there might be a significant difference between you and her....

[SlackJaw]

Dude, here's THE opening line - I suggest you use it.

Walk up and say " Baby, you look so good you should be working at hooters. Unless you have to have a leg amputated, then I guess you could work at IHOP."