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Re: The Asshole Fiasco
there are a few points i'd like to raise amid all this. by no means is this to be construed as me stepping up to defend or rationalize the idiotic actions of Asshole, but merely to contextualize them. i feel it's important to keep things in perspective and not turn our grief over those affected into a public burning. (although i wouldn't negatively judge a public flogging, perhaps)
important considerations...
1. intoxication changes people - sometimes when a person is drunk their true, inner self comes out. but this is not always the case. when i was playing with the breathalyzer Thorn and i had a very interesting discussion about how people act at various levels of intoxication. i mentioned how my friends and i experimented ourselves in the past with consuming drinks at a steady, timed pace as we monitored our B.A.C. in order to learn how our bodies reacted to alcohol and also how our minds reacted to inebriation. we were all pretty shocked to learn how when you approach .08 (legal driving limit) you start to "feel" not as drunk... your inhibitions drop and you don't really think you're getting loaded. Thorn told me that this is not the only stage of bad judgement... eventually people can reach a point where they know they're drunk and simply do not care anymore. Soccer moms and family dads who would never do something so stupid as to endanger others have been pulled over and just stagger out of the car, totally sauced, and looked at him as if they didn't have a care in the world about their assinine choices.
it's not the choices and actions with which i take issue directly (horrible though they were). it's hard to fully blame a person in that state for being an ass while they're drunk... their decision to irresponsibly get 110% hammered is what makes me want to throw things, since it is the sort of thing that ruins it for everyone else on so many levels.
2. responsible intoxication is so very easy - those who know me are aware that i support all drug use and totall legalization of every single mind-altering chemical substance on earth. i favor harsh penalities, however, for those who would abuse such a freedom and hurt others in the process. one of the pieces of advice we see talked about in the community is the use of a sharpie marker on your arm to keep a running log of what substances you've taken, where you're staying, whom to contact if you get into trouble, etc. a big aspect of partying, at least for me, is being safe and smart about it... being with friends you trust who watch your back. bascule, pipes, and others who are familiar with highly elevated states of mind could join me in telling you about the critical "S"es... set, setting, and strain.
if you don't take those sorts of factors into consideration, even with intoxicants like alcohol, you're not being a good citizen and friend to your fellows. Asshole chose to get hammered-ass drunk and i'm going to assume he did this without telling his friends and other guests of his intentions to really tie one on. every circle of friends has its designated responsible figures... not squares who stand in a corner, scolding those who approach the bar to refill their glass, but people who can be counted on to keep a clear head and watchful eye on the scene so that no one gets out of hand. i have a better time when i'm partying knowing that i'm in the company of people like mouse, meee, Thorn, etc. they're not abstainers and they're not always even sober enough themselves to, say, drive someone somewhere... they're just always mature enough to keep their heads together even while insanity abounds around them.
3. poor planning and irresponsible partying ruins it for everyone else - not like this really has to be said. still, everyone should keep in mind that getting totally plowed and having no backup plan doesn't just result in bruises or vomit stains on your own self... it can lead to repressive rules, restrictive policies, and assinine laws down the road which hinder everyone else eventhough they didn't do anything wrong.
4. many of us have made bad choices before and are lucky that nothing went horribly wrong - i can recall (although not vividly) my time of absolute greatest drunkenness (in the superlative sense, not the pleasurable sense) at DefCon. it was DC10... well, pre-DefCon 10 actually. Renderman and i were hanging with two girls, Corinne and Lorna, in pool #2. while he wasn't sharing my room, like always render had full access to it for gear storage. all four of us were drinking poolside... and i don't know exactly how much rum & coke i consumed, but i remember the astonishment i felt at how badly my legs were holding me up once i got out of the boyant water.
after that, it was bad. i didn't even make it to dinner with render and the girls that evening. i'm told they tried to get into the room (either to wake me or for their stuff) but i had bolted the door (a reflex when i'm at a hotel). i may or may not have thrown up... i say this because my clothes felt like a mess when i awoke, but weren't dirty since i had clearly been standing in the shower with them on. had i fallen asleep on my back i may have been a few coughs away from pulling a hendrix. throwing something heavy out a window would have been an equally dangerous decision at the time, but i wouldn't have thought myself above it at the time. as it turns out, i woke up just fine and no one told me stories of projectile vommiting or running around without pants or anything.
many of us have had close calls and only luck or fate kept us in the clear. let's take this terrible incident as a reminder to party safe and party together... our community does a terrific job of policing itself, better than any other friends i have. i thank everyone for always being there for me when i'm plowed and i am proud to always be there for you, too.
there are a few points i'd like to raise amid all this. by no means is this to be construed as me stepping up to defend or rationalize the idiotic actions of Asshole, but merely to contextualize them. i feel it's important to keep things in perspective and not turn our grief over those affected into a public burning. (although i wouldn't negatively judge a public flogging, perhaps)
important considerations...
1. intoxication changes people - sometimes when a person is drunk their true, inner self comes out. but this is not always the case. when i was playing with the breathalyzer Thorn and i had a very interesting discussion about how people act at various levels of intoxication. i mentioned how my friends and i experimented ourselves in the past with consuming drinks at a steady, timed pace as we monitored our B.A.C. in order to learn how our bodies reacted to alcohol and also how our minds reacted to inebriation. we were all pretty shocked to learn how when you approach .08 (legal driving limit) you start to "feel" not as drunk... your inhibitions drop and you don't really think you're getting loaded. Thorn told me that this is not the only stage of bad judgement... eventually people can reach a point where they know they're drunk and simply do not care anymore. Soccer moms and family dads who would never do something so stupid as to endanger others have been pulled over and just stagger out of the car, totally sauced, and looked at him as if they didn't have a care in the world about their assinine choices.
it's not the choices and actions with which i take issue directly (horrible though they were). it's hard to fully blame a person in that state for being an ass while they're drunk... their decision to irresponsibly get 110% hammered is what makes me want to throw things, since it is the sort of thing that ruins it for everyone else on so many levels.
2. responsible intoxication is so very easy - those who know me are aware that i support all drug use and totall legalization of every single mind-altering chemical substance on earth. i favor harsh penalities, however, for those who would abuse such a freedom and hurt others in the process. one of the pieces of advice we see talked about in the community is the use of a sharpie marker on your arm to keep a running log of what substances you've taken, where you're staying, whom to contact if you get into trouble, etc. a big aspect of partying, at least for me, is being safe and smart about it... being with friends you trust who watch your back. bascule, pipes, and others who are familiar with highly elevated states of mind could join me in telling you about the critical "S"es... set, setting, and strain.
if you don't take those sorts of factors into consideration, even with intoxicants like alcohol, you're not being a good citizen and friend to your fellows. Asshole chose to get hammered-ass drunk and i'm going to assume he did this without telling his friends and other guests of his intentions to really tie one on. every circle of friends has its designated responsible figures... not squares who stand in a corner, scolding those who approach the bar to refill their glass, but people who can be counted on to keep a clear head and watchful eye on the scene so that no one gets out of hand. i have a better time when i'm partying knowing that i'm in the company of people like mouse, meee, Thorn, etc. they're not abstainers and they're not always even sober enough themselves to, say, drive someone somewhere... they're just always mature enough to keep their heads together even while insanity abounds around them.
3. poor planning and irresponsible partying ruins it for everyone else - not like this really has to be said. still, everyone should keep in mind that getting totally plowed and having no backup plan doesn't just result in bruises or vomit stains on your own self... it can lead to repressive rules, restrictive policies, and assinine laws down the road which hinder everyone else eventhough they didn't do anything wrong.
4. many of us have made bad choices before and are lucky that nothing went horribly wrong - i can recall (although not vividly) my time of absolute greatest drunkenness (in the superlative sense, not the pleasurable sense) at DefCon. it was DC10... well, pre-DefCon 10 actually. Renderman and i were hanging with two girls, Corinne and Lorna, in pool #2. while he wasn't sharing my room, like always render had full access to it for gear storage. all four of us were drinking poolside... and i don't know exactly how much rum & coke i consumed, but i remember the astonishment i felt at how badly my legs were holding me up once i got out of the boyant water.
after that, it was bad. i didn't even make it to dinner with render and the girls that evening. i'm told they tried to get into the room (either to wake me or for their stuff) but i had bolted the door (a reflex when i'm at a hotel). i may or may not have thrown up... i say this because my clothes felt like a mess when i awoke, but weren't dirty since i had clearly been standing in the shower with them on. had i fallen asleep on my back i may have been a few coughs away from pulling a hendrix. throwing something heavy out a window would have been an equally dangerous decision at the time, but i wouldn't have thought myself above it at the time. as it turns out, i woke up just fine and no one told me stories of projectile vommiting or running around without pants or anything.
many of us have had close calls and only luck or fate kept us in the clear. let's take this terrible incident as a reminder to party safe and party together... our community does a terrific job of policing itself, better than any other friends i have. i thank everyone for always being there for me when i'm plowed and i am proud to always be there for you, too.
Speaking of being a "Door Nazi", I would like to thank all of the people who understood why we needed to card people at the door and whatnot. Those of you who were nice and joked around with me made me feel better about having to yell at everyone.
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